#67 - Childhood Wounds & Family Healing Sessions | Hilde Wiemann
Trauma is defined as an emotional reaction to a traumatic incident or experience such as abuse, freak accidents, natural disaster, etc. As individuals, each of us have our own trauma. We may not see it or feel it on the onset, but these can manifest in our adulthood or even as we become parents.
We all have emotional baggage as individuals and understanding them is the key to becoming better individuals and especially better parents because these childhood wounds from the past will not just affect us. Rather, let these negative experiences inspire us and make us stronger.
This episode is full of wisdom, knowledge, and tips about healing and emotional health. It was a joy to have Hilde Wiemann on the show, a certified family and relationship coach to talk us through childhood wounds and family healing sessions. She will be sharing with us what she has experienced from the beginning of her childhood and how this affected her way of parenting and understanding her children.
We will be tackling how keeping yourself healthy and emotionally stable, healing your family, the importance of communicating with your children, how big events eventually create traumas, and the importance of time, touch, and talk. We’ll also touch on some points about different parenting styles, detachment, identifying our traumas, two things that drive us to bad behavior, and the goal of generational healing.
This family healing session is wonderfully essential for those that are ready to take responsibility and clean up the emotional junk they may be holding on to. So whether you’re a teenager, an adult, or a married individual, this episode is a must-listen for you.
When a child becomes a teenager, learn to not step back and not to be afraid of the development.
Learning to be better parents which leads to knowing each other better, and eventually, world peace
Being good parents by having self-awareness and knowing what a child needs and wants
Being more loving and being authentic in support of forgiveness.
Each child is different and every parent needs to study and learn more about their child
Unresolved issues get emotionally passed down to our children, creating a new dysfunction.
Episode Transcript:
Andrew Love
Welcome back to love life and legacy, a podcast that helps you navigate these hyper-sexualized times of ours. In today's episode, Sammy's doing a very deep dive into what it looks like to heal yourself with a very special guest to heal the women who are a gangster. She goes and houses people like crazy, people with some extreme cases, she's not afraid of healing everybody. That doesn't mean that she only deals with extreme cases, she heals everybody. So this is all about healing, it's about a generation of healing, how to take on healing yourself, healing your family. It's especially helpful for parents, but everybody should listen to this so that you could have a long view perspective on how to keep yourself healthy and when you are a parent how to communicate with your kids, so they don't accumulate trauma. But if you are a parent, by golly gosh, listen to this 10,000 times, and enjoy. Welcome, welcome, welcome, ladies and gentlemen to another episode of love life and legacy. Here, with an incredible guest, this is Hilda Wiemann, why she's an incredible guest. She is an accomplished coach, mentor to people, am and healing relationships and families so I'm so honored to have you with us too. Before I speak more about your work experience, let you say hi to everybody.
Hilde Wiemann
Do you want to hear my voice?
Sammy Uyama
Yes.
Hilde Wiemann
Hi, everybody. I'm so happy that I can be here and talk about my life, my work and publicize this more, so thank you.
Sammy Uyama
Thank you for being with us. So everybody, Hilde she incredible. She graduated coach you University. She's certified by the International Coaching Federation, she's trained in family and relationship coaching. She's a certified real love coach from Greg Bear and his work. She's worked alongside for nigh of a decade with trained professional psychotherapists. She runs her incredibly unique family healing session protocol to help families improve their relationships or heal any challenges that they have in their families. She's traveled the world to do these family healing sessions to give seminars and education and right now her focus at this point in her life is training the next generation and passing on all of your experience and her skills and her knowledge to anyone who wants to learn how to lead these sessions and how to be a family coach in this world. So just a body of experience and wisdom, so I hope that excites all of you, as much it does need to have her with us married for 40 years, originally from Austria, and many people noticed the hint of an accent. Your husband, where's your husband from?
Hilde Wiemann
He's American, German, and Greek. Yes. German, Scottish, Irish all kinds.
Sammy Uyama
Like a lot of Americans big mix things. And then, you know, three grown children, two grandchildren. Anything else I'd like to add about your family your work?
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, I think you asked me to maybe introduce myself a little bit about why I'm doing this work, what my motivation is how I got to this, and so on. So you already said I'm from Europe, from Austria. It was interesting. On my 60th birthday, my son got up my youngest, and said, why isn't it amazing? My mom, she's this Austin village girl and he knew you know, by the time I like you said I was flying around to the different continents and doing my work giving sometimes on TV or at least live radio and helping. More than that, I did help individual families. So for this, people have reached out to me from around the world and I tried to combine when I fly and help somebody to also teach somewhere, and this brought me mostly to Mexico, America, Europe, and a little bit to Asia.
Sammy Uyama
That's just about the world.
Hilde Wiemann
That's right, yeah. But back to the village girl, I think I should say a little bit about this because that has, of course, made me who I am and you know, we will talk later about childhood imprint. I don't know if it's a village, 5000 people but it felt like because everybody was close. I remember on that street where I was living, people walk by to go downtown. Just when you saw somebody walking, sometimes you just run out of the house and say hey, hello and you know, we greeted each other. That was a real thing almost every day. Even when I was bored with my homework or study, I look out the front window and I see somebody oh good, she's going downtown so I checked in. And it's this refreshing feeling of belonging of knowing each other bonding and that was quite an experience.
My brothers were Boy Scouts. There were no girl scouts in my town but I was jealous and I cried about this to my mother. So when I was 12 years old, she said, oh, why don't we make flyers. Let's just write something on paper and copied. Then I help you by giving it out after church because there was just one single church in the middle of town, Catholic Church, that's how I grew up, the whole country was cast at the time to a very small percentage differently. And you know, she found somebody in a neighboring village and who helped us create this, and we founded the girl scouts in my town and my parents were senior citizens for 25 years, they were running everything from preparation, the program, the food, and all this stuff. So I grew up in a community belonging, it was never boring and this feeling of honestly of knowing what's going on everywhere and helping each other. Of course, there's a little bit of gossip and jealousy also but overall, that knowing I belong was quite an incredible imprint. So then, I actually left home at 14 to go to a school in Vienna, fashion school, and then I came to America, when I was 27, I met my husband in England. Then came to America, and I thought it would be not that different. You know, pretty, he comes from a middle class, I come from a middle class, I thought, piece of cake. My parents, I never saw them fighting so I sought marriages like that. Also, in my neighborhood, I experienced not very much conflict or the boys or anything like that.
I thought marriage wouldn't be that hard but then seven years into it, I had to decide to either run or to learn and that's when I started reading books, interesting myself going to seminars, I happen to come across a family counselor. At the time I heard him speak, I liked what he was saying he was so very honest and open about everything and I thought, Oh, this is what I want to learn. So I connected to him, my husband connected to him, we went to seminars, and that was the beginning. For me, we felt like God shifted me from the external beauty, the modeling, and the fashion industry, to the internal beauty and I became, of course, more and more aware of what was going on, and what I brought into the marriage, the childhood wounding that we all bring into the marriage. So that's a little bit of into summary of how I learned it in this.
Sammy Uyama
I think it's very good, valuable to hear that context and then the heart that you bring into your work and how you ended up here where you are.
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah. Well, first, it started when we were married and had young kids that friends came over and I found we had the same problems. You know, as women, we were talking and for a while, I don't know, couldn't we do better, something is missing. And I began work because I already had read books, and I went to seminars, then certain natural wisdom came out of me, and more and more people ended up in my living room. And we started talking, and I did, at least listening but in many cases also coaching for free. I didn't even know what I was doing. Slowly, I got into it more, and then eventually, I worked with this family therapist, not as a client, but then as a mentor to his clients and I learned a lot.
I went to seminars, I learned facilitating a co-facilitating the seminars and that's how I got deeper and deeper into it until I eventually took the coach university training online., that's how it all started. By the time I was a parent, and who's my friend together, we wrote a parent handbook. We just had this idea. We thought, hey, if we sum up things and make it much easier to understand, so people don't have to read all kinds of books why don't we take the wisdom, the strongest parts, the most important parts of these books? Why don't we take those and put them together as a handbook with exercises, and our friends or co-workers, people in the neighborhood and so on, we could study this with them, and that's what we did. I did back then already teleclasses so people did call in from all over the world. They found my friend who was out there on the website and the family therapist, and because we specialized in helping parents to reattach to detached and wounded and children in pain that I think attracted people that we got clients from all around the world,
Sammy Uyama
Right. So not only are you incredibly trained but also experienced and you just had this very natural development of career that you've built for yourself. And it seems sounds like just a very inquiring mind of wanting to find out for yourself like you know what's missing, and then work on your relationship. But then taking everything you learned and turning around to start supporting other people and very naturally just in your living room like you said with your friends and people in your neighborhood I suppose and people you knew that develop more and more and more until you became this world-known individual that could solve and you had the secret to resolving everyone's family problems in their life. Adjust but develop a clear protocol or this framework for understanding why you do family. Right?
Hilde Wiemann
Right. Very clear protocol eventually we developed. I do want to say a little bit more to this, my natural wisdom came out, I had no idea, no clue what was inside of me. I saw this in my neighborhood I grew up. So all the kids were out there on the street and playing and the parents when somebody misbehaved, and certainly, another parent felt like it is their responsibility to help us to correct it. So it was almost like growing up in a tribe, I would say, and my mother. So I am I have two older brothers, I was the youngest and a girl. And I believe because my mother had a very strict mother herself and she suffered under that. She promised herself if I have a daughter, I'd raise her differently. And my wealth in life, I would say, comes from my mother. When I think of her, I thank her, I'm so grateful that she took time, she was very personal, she did things with me, and also she had these interesting, intense conversations with me because that is an art.
When a child becomes a teenager, do not step back, and to be afraid of the development, to be afraid of what they're getting into, you know, falling in love wanting this, and that, and so on. My mother knew how to draw me in and I don't want to say to nail me, because that sounds a little bit negative, but she knew how to keep me in a certain territory, and protect me, but also give me a long enough leash and trust. So there were these as I grew older, as a teenager, there were deep conversations about love, and sex, and friendships and behaviors in life. I just was grateful that she gave me this foundation, this bonding. I knew that I belong to her and I knew that no matter what happens, or what decision I make, or if I make mistakes, my mother would somehow stand up for me or be there and help me out of the mess, so to speak and I did experience this several times. So I just wanted to say that parenting, I believe that eventually when we parent better, and I think you are experienced, or you have experienced Dr. Greg Bay and real love, which I highly recommend to everybody. That's the first thing I recommend to my clients when they call me or email me the first time. I truly believe if we learn better parenting, that means we get to know each other ourselves better than we can create a better world, world peace.
Sammy Uyama
Wow. That's amazed to hear that for whatever reason that I don't know, naturally, but the wonderful mother that your parent that your mom was. I imagine it's no small decision to let a 14-year-old girl go all the way to Vienna, go to fashion school and we talk about her and the applications you're able to have.
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, he stood there in the kitchen and said, you know, when I said goodbye, he said, I trust you because I raised you, and I'll never forget that those words and that moment.
Sammy Uyama
I'm sure so many people listening to them this long to have that kind of relationship, their parents and are also longing to be that kind of parent to their children.
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, so I said this because that's where my motivation comes from, and my longing. I have such an incredible passion for parenting and teaching parenting and family helping families. So this leads towards the work that my colleague and I developed. It comes originally, so we call it a family healing session. It originated with Dr. Martha Welsh. She already passed a few years ago and her effort was to work with autistic children. She had a real breakthrough, she had amazing insight and success to open up the world and help autistic children with more to know to come more into the space of the family. And then she thought, wow, if that's working, then why don't we do it with our I don't know if I should say our normal children are healthy children or whatever, you know, it's everybody.
So we developed this program that whole families would come to her place and she would work with the whole family, everybody there to bring up old stories to bring up old unresolved things, pain and just make it open, make the system open and honest. That was a long time ago that my colleague went there and learned from her and then he related this to me and we started working like this but soon very soon into it, I have to say I changed a lot of things. I just developed it further and where we are today is just so amazing compared to this. So I just wanted to express my gratitude to Dr. Martha Welch but then today we are on 20 years of more experience. Since then, so family healing session is something that is most requested when the children are teenagers or young adults.
Sammy Uyama
So we're gonna dive into family Healing Sessions a TSI for everybody and before that, there was something you said that stood out to me and also kind of more at the root of or the need for family healing sessions. So you mentioned we talked about the way your parents raised you, and everyone has the longing to have a relationship like that with their parents and to raise their children like that. But we know the reality is for most people, something happens, something right. And you talked earlier about childhood wounds, right? I know that's such at the core of your work are these childhood wounds that people develop. I think that's a very important thing to touch on because when people think of any kind of traumatic things in their childhood, they think very dramatic things. But that's not what you know, from what I've learned on this topic, it's not always the case. And then, of course, which you have extensive knowledge on experience with, and there's this term that I heard that intrigued me is a post-childhood stress disorder. I've heard of post-traumatic stress, though, but anyway, it's this topic I've started to dive in to, it's connected to this work that you do with childhood wounds. Could you begin by talking about that? And what is this? And what are these wounds that we're talking about?
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, that's of course, a professional term and I tried to simplify everything for my clients in such as simply say that the childhood wounds, as you mentioned. I'm grateful that you bring this up is true that, as you said, we think you know, just big events, create a trauma. That's for a long time, we thought, was there sexual abuse? Was there an accident, early deaths of a parent divorce, you know, these things? We thought that trauma is coming from that and you probably follow that with all the development about the knowledge and the brain and what is considered as trauma. I mean, this some, all these things can be considered as trauma. It traumatizes the child because we are born and we are growing up in the first years of our lives. I mean, according to psychology, in the first seven years, we're like a sponge. We take everything in that we are seeing and hearing, especially what's concerning us. And then again, I want to mention Dr. Bian, his book says, even if we have nine good experiences, or people give us compliments, or anything positive, if the 10th, one is negative, we drop immediately the memory of all these other events, and we are just getting stuck there.
We are thinking about really, am I ugly? Am I doing what this person just said, I can play with them, they got me off the playground or this out of the sandbox and things like this? So small things, even just look for words. I've had clients that 30, 40 years later rotate around this one moment in their life, when a sibling or parent, friend, a coach, maybe a teacher looked or said trust about a word or a small center and grabbed on to this belief, and lived with this kind of belief system created the rest of the lives wisdom. So, therefore, when I said, there's such a need, that we become a good parent, that we have the self-awareness that we know ourself that we know what a child needs and wants, that we can separate that and just become better and better in the skill of loving of being authentic of support of forgiveness, those things. That's what we need to learn to raise a child with fewer traumas saying this, I'm going to mention that, for example, by that time, when my children were fairly small, I already entered the profession, and I'd gone to different seminars. And so I thought, well when my kids come home from school, they open the door, I bet I scan them from top to bottom, emotionally scan them. And that's really what I did because I knew about detachment, I knew that when we go away, the child goes to school gets influenced by so many different things. We must bring the child back home again.
More so in our society now, where we have the TV, we have computer games, we have the iPhone, so much equipment and also more freedom, I think, going to ask the kid at school go over so much more away from home, because maybe both parents are working before COVID. So their child is more influenced by the rest of the world and it is so important to bring them home to draw them to the center and the parent’s values and lifestyle because that is what would make them feel aha, this is who I am. This is where I learn certain things where I belong, bring them back home, at least to take out the confusion and also the traumas, because the little things that they experience every single day, are just so important. We want to help them to process the day to digest it. I was just talking earlier to somebody interested in this and I said, Yeah, I mean, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all do EST Emotional Freedom Technique, the tapping you know on if we learn this early and we do this on our children when a child comes home or now okay they are at home when the day's done to just playing with that and tap them or help them to tap and really to go clean out the nervous system, help them digest and come back home to their core is good to help good, we have less childhood trauma imprints.
Sammy Uyama
So these wounds that everyone experiences are not. They're just any event or experience of something, something goes wrong, or I don't belong, I'm not accepted or I'm not loved. If you mentioned just being kicked out of the playground or kids not wanting to play with you and no idea of the word itself it's a huge place and we can't expect everyone to be perfect and to be loving and wonderful to my child. So it's so important for the family to be a safe place to come back to and to be cleansed of bruising and those experiences out in school, but often actually the families also the place where people experience most of those wounds, I imagine where it's just like the little gray nights of like, you know, how could you walk in the house with your muddy shoes? Or I can imagine how sensitive a child is. So many thoughtless things a parent could say meaning well but would add to that feeling,
Hilde Wiemann
Right. There's you know, many parents were raised because we parent basically out of our memory box. So therefore if we heard what you were just saying you know, your muddy shoes, have the tone and the behavior that sends it. So I want to talk a little bit about the difference. The introverted and extroverted child, the sensitive child, and the more open and courageous child. We as a parent, we need to study the child, we need to study so that we know who is my child because each one is different. Each one carries what I experienced a different inheritance and has different things to accomplish in this world.
Therefore, it is important that we as a parent, we know ourself, we've done our work, or we continue to do our work meaning to know ourself nor our triggers or create patients feel all lofting, things like this are considered as our work. And then in that place where we have that fullness, the peace, and I always call it a strong spine. When we come from that place, then we have the openness, that peace to look at our children and see who they are, what is needed, what's going on. Hopefully, have enough love for things that we have the patience when something is not so good that we say oh, what's up? what's going on? tell me the story. You know, I want to listen, having that patient would show the child that there's time and space that he or she is allowed to experience whatever and to talk about feelings and experiences.
Sammy Uyama
I like that strong spine. If blood parents come from the misconception of this is a faintly sacrificial role of a parent is this you have to give up everything of yourself and focus on the children. And often parents, they're barely staying above water themselves, right. And so the thing children need the most is just a safe place to feel unconditionally loved and embraced and there's nothing expected of them, or they just have to do a good job all the time and it's never allowed for them to make any mistakes. It's impossible to do when you've got all this you don't have a strong spine, as you said. The worst thing is, the children come home with a bad report card and you're like I'm giving up you know, I'm barely staying, you know, keeping afloat, and you can't even bother to get good grades, you know, what do you do?
Hilde Wiemann
Yes, I think that when people start studying Dr. B's Real Love programs, they become aware of those things. That is then when we yell at the kids, it's about us that we're ashamed the neighbors know my kid didn't have a good grade or embarrassed that we are not a good enough parent and so on. Then it's all about the parent, it's about us. What it should become is about the child to see that the child coming home with bad grades and maybe being even teased by other kids, they suffer so badly. They are the worst off, they suffer the most. So as parents, we need this attitude of you to know what happened? What did I miss and devoting myself then as a parent to the child get the story, what happened, where did I not help you enough that you would understand this? What did I miss, who are you? what kind of needs do you have so that you can learn? Is your environment or the love you get the attachment you know what's missing and try to provide this for the child so that they can feel safe then that we make life and parenting about the child and not about us.
That in most cases as you say, our parents feel guilty and then embarrassed, and as soon as those feelings come in and we are not aware of it and working on ourselves then we just let the words roll out and the impatience and the judgment, the anger. It's so easy, we just let it roll, as I said earlier, because we have parenting out of our memory box. So if our parents did that, we think this is what parenting is. And we have to do this so our kids turn out, okay, until we study that this is exactly what we need to shift and change. My family this year, it's preparation, when parents begin to work with me, I teach them all these things of what is real love? How does this function develop? How can I have ownership in my comments? How do I save ion? Learning about my wounding, and just simply or parenting styles? how we develop the developmental stages in life, what family culture they experience? So they know what did I come to within the marriage. What did my spouse come with, into the marriage and then see, aha, we already we carry a suitcase, we carry a backpack, we come into this relationship because we are unaware of what we bring? We fall in love and then think, oh, this is wonderful. You know, I just want to go ahead with this.
I want to be with this person forever and when the in life is over, I want to mention here Dr. Harville Hendricks, he wrote a book 30 years ago with his wife, Helen, getting the love you want and they just brought out I think last year, the new version of it because they had to change one chapter in it, which was communication. Communication was the old version, now they put in safe conversations. Very wonderful, amazing program, the best in communication, I think that's existing around the world but back to what they wrote back then in this book was that what we attract or how to become unfinished, and that marriage is a highway to perfection even it's hard. Then in marriage, all the things come out after the in a lifetime, that's what I was talking about, you know, we fall in love there's an in-life time. And when that is over, then we dare to show up with the real me who I am and also the negative things that are inside of me because then the testing comes. Do you love me enough? can you stand me like this too? So that comes after the in-life time. I just wanted to throw that in here.
Sammy Uyama
I have another question about childhood wounds. I think some people might be wondering, sometimes it might just stay here, and everything you're saying and makes perfect sense. But some people may say, okay, yeah, children are sensitive, they get hurt, their feelings get hurt, these things happen. That was 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years ago, I was a little kid, what's the big deal? How can that be affecting me now?
Hilde Wiemann
This is such a good question. Thank you, Sammy, for bringing this up because there are so many people exactly with this idea, this attitude, and I have to say it's somehow more in the male audience. And clients that I have are women, we are somehow closer to our emotions and we want to discover our weaknesses but we raise men. You can cry, you can do this, and this is who you have to be and from that, comes a certain denial or just to say, okay, this is beyond me. You know, I'm past that, that's it and I'm living life. I mean, look at me, I have studied, I have a degree and do this now do I make this much money. Interesting enough, most of my clients are wealthy, because that's when if either they have studied for a long time and already had family and no time for their young children, or if they created businesses and didn't have time for the kids. That's the most difficult thing for children when the parents aren't around. So those people then come and say this and that is going on in the family and it is very, very difficult for them to understand that? I have an inner child? I have a wound from childhood? I mean look at me, what I created, you know, my success, and so on. And as I always say, our children our mirror, just look okay, why does your child take drugs? Why is your child doing this? Why are you know, sexually active at age 14?
So these addictions and disorders that we find in the children come from our unresolved issues, and we don't even know about them. We're either clearly in denial or we are just so uninformed, I would say, uninformed. We are getting more and more informed. It is now I'm interested even in the last few years, it's incredible. The research on brain and trauma and affirming that we all have wounds. I think what you're asking is, there's this amazing need that we get in touch with the parts of us that we have numb. Now that I'm saying so when we numb a part in us, it announces itself because we are made to heal, we are created to become ourselves of fullness to blossom to our fullness. And if in our childhood, for whatever reasons, we had to numb certain parts in us, because bad things happen, then eventually they come out in life. Then it's up to us, if we correctly manage their identifying and healing process, or if we just medicate them, instead of managing, we medicate them. And this is where it comes down to the very things that we have these days.
Well, most of all pornography or acting out sexually, that there's just little control, or so much desire, or masturbation. And I know that your organization mostly is interested in that and the sexual disorders, but I want to also say here, that voice not different to the alcoholic, to the drug-addicted and so on, it's always there's an unmet need underneath. Two things drive us to bad behavior. One is either we remember an event, a real event, okay? Where I have hurt that pain from it, I close up to close down something, and it's right in the eye, we swallow that pain, and it's somewhere dark inside. So it's an event or that nobody discovered me, my needs, unmet needs. So it's either hurt from an event, or it's an unmet need. Only those two things and make up for everything that is hurting us. Everything that's hurting us that we swallowed, and is sitting inside, the pain is sitting inside at some point in life. It wants to come out, we can't live with it anymore. And we are at this part where we make the decision. Am I gonna be brave enough? Because it takes that to be brave, courageous. Am I courageous enough and address with a professional and get help or with friends? Or am I just gonna medicate myself?
Sammy Uyama
The two points you said about specific events that hurt us or unmet need, made me think of the very specific incident. I remember when I was in third grade, or some fourth grade, maybe and recess time and we're playing soccer, the two sides, I was the goalie. And then some other friend comes up to me and asks for some help. He's wearing like a cape and he needs me to tie something, I stopped being a goalie just to help him for a moment, I'm standing in the goal that the other side of the ball comes on the other side, and then the other team scores right on me. Then my teammates come up to me, and he's so angry like, what are you doing? You know, you're supposed to be the goalie, right? Come on, like that. I felt so hurt because I thought I was just trying to be a good friend and help my friend. We're just playing a game, what's the big deal, right? And then I got hurt, then I got angry and there's this like feeling I'll show you kind of thing and so then I switched roles with someone. Then I always like taking the ball and try to run down and play hard and show that friend that you know, I'm a better soccer player than him or something. And that's something that has driven me for so long is it's like when someone gets down or critical something, there's this thing that comes as I'll show you, then I like work extra hard and don't prove them wrong.
Hilde Wiemann
Why I'm so glad you're saying this because I mentioned to you earlier, the name theory real and what he's teaching is, you know, we get wounded, the first seven years or whatever, we take over, we have these wounds. But then comes a time when we also take on behavior because we develop survival methods, and they are negative sometimes. We are wounding ourselves, so to speak, sometimes while we do the survival, either get very aggressive or angry or exactly the example that you were just saying, aha, this is not my message I'm going to show you. And suddenly we take this on, which is also not positive. It's not such a positive behavior, because now we carry the anger, we are not clearing it differently. We are just trying to prove ourselves, and it's still unhealthy. So I just wanted to mention that the rest of our lives is working on these times of the wounding and re-wounding and as we become mature and adult, the rest of our lives, we work on all, these different stories we had experienced before.
Sammy Uyama
Thank you, such an eloquent answer to my question or that cynicism people can have is that these wounds, are very relevant, and they're the things that drive our lives, and what you said about when naturally built to heal into, that's so well put just like a sickness. The symptoms that come up, it's an indicator that we're sick, and it's our body's mechanism for getting rid of the bad bacteria, things like that. And then likewise, these whatever harmful, bitter things people get into, it's a symptom of trying to fill a need. And so it's a clear argument that just from observation if anything is going on in your life that you're dissatisfied with, or you're acting in a certain way, that it's a clear indicator that there's some unmet need. It's also I think, extraordinarily brilliant that not only just observationally through experience, you can point to these things, but even in science is also starting to agree with this even with brain scans, that's what we can observe. The wounding and physically on our brain. That's incredible.
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, I just listened to a talk by Thomas Hübl, he is also Austrian and lived a long time in Germany did years and years of meditation and people gathered around him. His product from all this life experience became, he realized that when people meditated together at 100 people around him and suddenly had outbreaks of emotions, that we are in a time of collective clearing, a dead trauma release. In the last talk, what I heard from him was that it's scientifically showing up not proven that we inherited in the cell. So his example was, the generation we experienced World War Two. The trauma is so immense in one's life, that that generation can't clear things that no matter how much therapy they do, they can only talk about it, but can't clear the traumas in their life. And so they tested and searched in their camera that is done, but in the cells that we have memory in the cells of the next generation and the next generation.
So that would mean for example, for me, I'm born in '54, of course, my mother, both parents had, but I just had an experience in one of my sessions the other day, when I did Emotional Freedom tapping, and I experienced the fear that is sitting in my cells from my mother. I didn't know this before I ever experienced it, but suddenly, it was like, I have a fear. There's nowhere no idea where it's coming from, it's just so deep inside. And then immediately, I had a memoryof the bomb shelter where I was, but the running to the bomb shelter, just where everybody runs in the same direction and who is making it, who is making it first. I'm, of course, reading and listening to talks, are going to seminars, I just realized how much we discover now about trauma, about imprints not only in the brain in every cell of our being, and that our generation or the people who are living at this time has more or less responsibility, he said, of releasing collective trauma, he connected it also to COVID.
Sammy Uyama
Yeah, I like to take note of that for people to look into themselves. That's incredible. The physical evidence, you can see of it. Seems like Austrians and maybe Germans as well, they always seem to be at the forefront of psychological breakthroughs and neurological neuroscience.
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, bright and young. Right?
Sammy Uyama
So yeah, these childhood wounds, not just affect us, but drive our entire adult lives. You did mention us, right? This is the love life legacy podcast, we're very interested in sex. So I'm wondering, in what ways can these childhood wounds and their natural need be healed, and then they're trying to get healed? So if they don't get help, how can they end up being sexualized later as adults?
Hilde Wiemann
We sexualize love needs, all there is underneath, it's a need for closeness, to touch, to belong and it's an emotional issue. Sadly, we're in society I think we don't have a deep enough understanding, and we think everything is sex and sexuality. Of course, the hormones are driving from the teenage years and beyond but look in as we have this experience in anything sexual, we are just focused and we are forgetting everything else. And finally, like coming home, or we belong to the other depends, you know, if we have sex with ourselves, it's one thing we can forget everything else the brain is turned off. Only one station is going and the same is, of course, is orgasm, and you know, if we have sex, the longer have sex with somebody else that is when we can forget pain traumas, when you forget any kind of problems we have in life, whatever. So, therefore, the more stress we got throughout shifting our lifestyles, and the demand that is on everybody, the more we have this issue.
The separation through sex, of course, I can connect with somebody else and belong, and the distress or the emptiness I can turn off everything and just participate in this one event. But then as we know, right after this it's either guilt or it's over, we are going back into the normal world. So therefore we want often more guilt to come up so we do it again, and It just grows. So therefore we are dancing, obsessed by it, or addicted to it, and we don't know how to get out of it. Getting out of it is through finding help all that you guys are doing, you know, giving so much teaching, education and so much support that you create these wonderful groups where people can talk about it. I think it comes down to time touch and talks that we spend time with other people, that we talk about what is coming up, what's coming out of me what is before, when therapy also we say reach out, instead of reaching in or reach out before you reach in. Meaning, grab the telephone or get help, somehow call your friend, get support before you masturbate.
I mean, we can relate this also to workaholics or Catholics, eating disorders, and so on, before you open the refrigerator. When did we become aware of what it is I'm doing to medicate my pain? And then just before I do it, can I discipline myself that I would reach out? Whatever my system, is a group of friends, whatever it is that I do and talk about it. What just happened in my life that I got to hear that I want to masturbate or watch pornography or have sex, what just made me upset. This is how our work has been very successful in helping people to do this outreach and become clear where it's coming from because then we identify our trigger. What is our trigger? And that's when we identify what is it that is driving me crazy, like you just said earlier, somebody is criticizing you and putting you down, either driving me crazy or what is making me so an outcast is so long, so detached? What is it? How do I feel? And what is it I need? And I think every single case, people would eventually end up, I need connection, I need time, touch, and talk.
Sammy Uyama
Never any of the worlds has touched play in that healing process.
Hilde Wiemann
Oh, thank you. That touch is healthy. That touch is because we think I need touch and then it stimulates and we get sexual, but you wouldn't believe how many clients I've interviewed and asked, and they would say, I just want to lay next to the person, I just want to be cuddled. I had once I remember that vividly, she said I'm still four years in a relationship, and I wish there wouldn't be sex. I don't want to, we mostly cuddle and talk to two and four o'clock in the morning. It is going back to the childhood relationship but to that peer level, the friend, we never had. The intensity or like I described my relationship with my mother, whether the parent or the coach, educator we never had where we could be honest and intimate, which does not have to do with sex. It is about the need for closeness, being understood, being seen, being heard, and being understood, and there's a real love student equals love, being loved, feeling loved. And when we feel that when our love tank is full from this, this knowing I'm loved, I belong, there's no need for this then. I don't want to say there's no need for sex, then I reach out then I healthily have sex, but not in an unhealthy way. So the touch is healthy or unhealthy.
Sammy Uyama
So touching is just an innate natural need of humans.
Hilde Wiemann
Right. When you think we're so natural with babies, we touch, we kiss, and we stroke them. Then the older child, we hesitate or even a child you know, we dropped them off in the kindergarten first grade whenever and then they started saying, you know, Mom, don't hug me here, don't kiss me. And somehow so many mothers or fathers to anybody, adults, then listen to this and say, oh, of course, my child is embarrassed I don't want to. Okay, I listened to that, and I won't do it anymore. And there we have to learn courage, did we talk to the child about it and we see where this is coming from and to work it out. To this day my kids are 30 and up to 37 and it would be normal. I sit on the couch and they come and we hug or maybe I have the bedroom door open and I just lay down and read a book and they come to visit and would jump on the other side of next to me on the bed. So very natural to say hi, what are you doing? And then I can sense it, I can feel even though I'm married, they want to have this hug from mom and closeness and be a child again because this is so nourishing no matter how old we are. We do need this at times. So touch is misunderstood in our society and our lives
Sammy Uyama
At High Noon we need to figure that one out, and we do everything on zoom right. So how to get that picture?
Hilde Wiemann
Housing touch is a big issue, and probably most healing. So there are also times I remember working with individuals where it would be homework. It would be on their homework and program to get massages, but by massage therapists that is safe, and a massage therapist who is trained in emotional release, because we have our pain, our traumas sitting inside of our body and our muscles. So let's talk about the most extreme thing sexual abuse, for example, it could be that then the adult is touched somewhere where he or she were touched incorrectly as a child where it was abused, and then they would freak out, or they would start crying, or there's so much tension from working. Maybe even that could be that people start either screaming or just making noises and things. So if that happens in massage, first of all, massage is healing, and finding a massage therapist that is safe, and knows how to deal with the emotional release is enormously healing. It's a blessing to find somebody like this.
Sammy Uyama
I have one more question about sexualizing childhood wounds. Is there any indication between the needs that people are subconsciously trying to fill and the kind of porn or different kinds of fetishes or sexual preferences that people are attracted to any relationship between those?
Hilde Wiemann
Yes, we know what is healthy. We have a natural knowing or read about it, and see it and so on. What is healthy, and what no. To ask ourselves what is underneath, what happened to me. But those things, we do need a professional most of the time to help us through this, because we could discover enormous traumas and it's not good to be alone in this, we want to have professional help to get through this. There's the word fetish when anything that is obsessing is and it's all the time me, is not healthy because as you know, sexual exchange or be sexual is an act of sex, as we call making love. We pay attention to the other person, we want to know what the other person needs, how the other person feels, what feels good, what is any kind of anything, how should we create a good experience, so that means I have to come out of myself and attend the other person. We change, we go in waves and act, right? So if it so happens, that the attention is on me that I know, my partner decided to put himself aside or herself to attend me, then it's not selfish, then it is receiving a gift. So we can see the answer like that. But if I am obsessed with something that I need, and I need to get this from the other that shows a wounding and underneath that I absolutely that I get stuck in that and then I can shift it and can't be flexible.
Sammy Uyama
The reason why I ask is that we have these cases that we come across where someone is dealing with some specific obsession towards something or even people dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction, part of what they're trying to resolve with long with their porn use. But it sounds like it'd be better for an individual to work with someone trained to dig at their case, rather than I'm hearing you don't want to make a blanket prescription or if you're attracted to feet, then that means that you know.
Hilde Wiemann
Yes, and that is digging and digging and digging. When our soul, inner child, or whatever we call it is beginning to trust us because we have consistency in checking in and journaling or taking sessions in being present and busy with our inner child. Only then the child gives stories free enough, or trusting enough to reveal stories. So some people think, oh, I did a session about that. Well, it's not one session, you've got to do work and show your inner child it's the inner family because we don't have just one wounding. So we have a child stuck in h3 and h5 and an h whatever, in many different places, we have a part of us stuck from that very trauma. After trauma, we don't grow, we close up and that's frozen until we release that. So when we show that we are busy with this, that we give attention, then slowly one part after the other and the inner child knows what is safe and whatnot. That's how we will eventually discover the stories from deep inside of us and the things where we are most obsessed about and what's the hardest, most difficult to come in our life those, of course, the deepest stories.
Sammy Uyama
Thank you for that explanation. So we have these childhood wounds, and hence family Healing Sessions, that's the focus of addressing these. So could you go into how the Family Healing Sessions work? And why exactly are they so effective?
Hilde Wiemann
Well, we were talking a lot about trauma so far, and how this doesn't go away or plays a role in our adult life, then we marry or we have partners, we become parents. If we don't resolve it, then we pass it down, the unresolved issues get emotionally passed down to our children, and it comes to a new dysfunction that our family then has dysfunction. Our children, suddenly, as teenagers, mostly as teenagers, we bring that out what has hurt us early and we couldn't figure it out. We couldn't speak any kind of painful language. When addictions start, that's the pain language. We are full of pain, and we don't know how to say it and resolve it so we bring it out in different ways alcohol, or drugs, or sex, and so on.
Then, parents call and say, oh, our family's great, we have a lot of good things going on but there's this one child and with this trouble, or we don't know, we can't talk to him or her and this and that going on. So I listen for a while and then I say, aha, I see. And I lead the parents towards the understanding that it's not the child, it is the whole system. The whole family, some things can be corrected, love needs to be put in order, but this one child. So instead of calling it the troubled child, or the wounded child, the child has an addiction, I help parents to understand this is your noble child, this is your savior because your dysfunctional system would continue, the unresolved issues that you and your spouse brought into the family, they would never be resolved and addressed. And it will just keep going and become more and more dysfunctional. But this child has because it's either their most child or it is somehow is the chosen child in a family that is expressing this through addiction and putting their life calling aside. There are other things talents, maybe going to school, they don't go to school, they don't want to learn, they have bad grades, or they do other things.
So stirring up the system and we stand announcing, we can't get going like this, there's something wrong, this needs to be addressed, adjusted, corrected. So then the parents call, and as I help them to understand, this is a great moment in your life because you have now the power, somebody's showing you that there's something not so good, that something needs to be corrected, and you are stimulated to do something about it because we all as parents love our children more than we love ourselves. So if we wouldn't go to therapy for ourselves, we do go to therapy as parents for our children, because we love our children more than ourselves. So let me first say what a family healing session is, it leads to it that I train, I give more education to the parents about psychology 101 that I help them to understand a lot of different topics and prepare them owning their unresolved issues and having good communication skills as main tools for me to come to the family. So before the pandemic hours, I flew out to the family, and I visit them in their home for two days where usually, you know, people have time on weekends, so Friday evening or Saturday and most of the Sunday. I call it a two-day family healing session where the families together with the original family.
So let's say because in most cases I've worked when children are already gone to college or beyond and of course, some of them maybe are still in high school or early teen years, that's most of the spectrum. But I've worked with families as old as little over 72 parents and the children accordingly to that in their 40s and so on. So their family comes together that grew up together, everybody's in one room, and I create a safe place and have a protocol through which we hear the story of the parents, this is how I grew up, and that's why I was this person when I got married and became a parent. Each parent tells their story and prepares for it. I help them, I draw a genogram the answer over 30 questions of his family history two generations back so that's the preparation for it and then when I'm there each person gets the opportunity to talk to everybody in the family in front of everybody. I create safety and have enough tools that I can at any moment interrupt and do what we call emotional processing. It's almost like the family has their tailored healing seminar going on but with the goal that everybody processes something and talks to everybody, and through this, we create intimacy, emotional intimacy. I mean, there's grieving, there's yelling, but I will set guidelines for it and make it safe, I have prepared the parents that they would listen to the child, no matter what is being said, because the child, I take the side of the child always. Because the child needs to be seen and heard the way they perceived life. I've had cases where the child said, we never did anything when I was a child was so boring and so this and that, and then we look through the album, and they are the photographs of vacations of the whole family, big family, extended family coming over and so on but that child was the wounded and sensitive child, it was running upstairs and hiding in a room. So there are no memories there.
I want to know, we all want to know how this person perceived life with the other person growing up and so on, and the parents are prepared for it that they can listen, absorbing, reflect. And in most cases, of course, it's also needed to apologize. Because what we apologize for is I'm so sorry that I couldn't see you. I'm sorry, I couldn't help you. I'm sorry, you didn't have any friends, and I didn't know how to help you get friends that I didn't even realize or you couldn't talk about it. I'm sorry, a dinner table was unsafe for you. So these things, parents are prepared that they would first of all, not listen with the head but with the heart and find the right voice and the right words, to apologize, make the child feel seen and heard and safe. The goal, of course, is bonding. The goal is that there's so much compassion there's grieving. The tears and the parent reaches out and hugs the child and the child can find the confidence in the chest of the parent being embraced and free, letting go. When we experienced this kind of intimacy and the whole family suddenly all the secrets out all the embarrassment and things like this out the door. Oh my God, we saw each other just not dripping down the nose. I mean, in the red nose, red eyes, this is what could happen processing all kinds of very deep stories as secrets.
People decide for themselves what they allow, and what they don't allow. I always let the client decide how far they want to go and what is the boundary for safety. When everything is always... everybody talked to everybody, as I said, then we say okay, what did you learn from this? What are you seeing as an issue that is a barrier for you or something that you want to address deeper? What does the family need to shift in tradition, in rules, in family culture, what needs to shift? All this will be addressed afterward and what skills have to be learned? Because no mother should say any more of what you said early in an angry way correcting the child somehow, but rather know how to do that because that was not clarified in those two days. Then we begin to have new behaviors, new responses to each other, and if we can't do it, that means we have to do more personal work. The child also especially if it's an adult child gets the power that they don't need to take it. They can say hey mom, hey dad, we have learned this so that could you please say it again.
Everybody breezes and learns to say it in a new way. So we begin to relate to each other to respond, or to address each other in a new way. And that creates a new atmosphere, totally new family culture, we set new traditions, and so on. So that's what's achieved through freedom. It's a liberation, it's a breakthrough and the jumpstart to something new then the work begins. It's not something to go after this weekend. We have no problems. We broke through darkness and helplessness because that's what everybody is. The children don't know how to say what's hurting, the parents don't know how to address the frozen or addicted child. When we break through this and declare a new system and rules and traditions and so on, then there's freedom then we can build. Then comes the rebuilding and in most cases, each person in the family has to also do their work. Either find a therapist, a coach, a support group, a program, read a book, whatever it takes some work together as a family, learning how to do family meetings, either at home, or as it was when kids are college and so on, that they meet on zoom on Skype in any way to and learn how to do this, how can we keep up our authenticity, honesty, intimacy, and belong.
Sammy Uyama
Wow, that whole thing sounds very healing, I guess hence the name.
Hilde Wiemann
Yes. And it can do an interesting thing as it can be done on so many different levels. Most of the time, I have to say I'm called when things are extreme, or can be a little surprising. What happens, my hope is that we learn to be better parents and that we rise to a different level and society than family Healing Sessions would eventually be on it with less conflict, or we don't have to dig as deep, we don't have to be so dramatic. Eventually, it's just a system just like you bring your car to a tune-up, you're together for a family healing session or family session that you can facilitate yourself as a family. We should learn, we can learn these skills and we can facilitate this to do sharing correctly and to be close to each other. We don't need a therapist or a coach, we can do it on our own. So these are the different possibilities of rising to a different level in our relationships.
Sammy Uyama
I can see why that's so effective to do. I like the way you describe the families, the system, and the whole system that affects us. So more than me as an individual working with a professional, it is so much more accelerated, having a family willing to work on it together.
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, now that you're saying this, I just realized before Christmas, a psychiatrist just found me because of the name for my business. So all we haven't said yet, is generational healing, though you find me on generationalhealing.org. A psychiatrist found me and he was very interested in what I do so we talked for a while and he said, you know I have worked at wilderness institutes where really the wealthy people send their kids and they are there for a week for a month, several months, sometimes pay a lot of money. But what's missing is your program because they come home to the family and it's the same thing as before, where they have gotten wounded or separated, where they were neglected, where they were alone, all these things happened and the child is just so afraid. I mean, yes, they do certainly interviews and telling, some healing and sessions with the families, no doubt about it to work but when he heard and I described this even more what I do the emotional processing that happens during this time, and so on, then he said, oh, wow, if this could become a norm, this could be implemented in those centers.
And also in your work, I know that you give very much support but how wonderful would it be if many of the people who are calling in and getting your help, could go far beyond and heal the family of origin, where they are coming from. This is what the cause is. It's not ever their fault, how they live, what they do, what the addictions they have. So I just want to say this, again, it is never the fault of the addicted person. It is the system that we experienced and so, therefore, I'm saying I'm always on the side of that person, of the child, the children. But when the parents do their work, I'm on their side, because they were wounded by the people before, and they were wounded by the people before. So it is a generational issue that has to be addressed and resolved and the traumas released. This is how we find liberation. This is how we can resolve the heaviness, the anger, and the addiction that we have now in this world, for sure.
Sammy Uyama
I got the point you made that the session is the beginning and there's a lot more work to do thereafter. But I just think it's incredible the transformation that you're able to cause within families, they don't get a different destination necessarily immediately, but a complete shift in direction. Then they have a clear path that they can move towards the vision they have for their family.
Hilde Wiemann
Yes. And I would say not only a different direction, but it is also a difference in vibration. You wouldn't believe, hi everybody goes in, most people are nervous, oh god, she's here, know what's going on? What are we gonna do and afraid than at the end, people are relaxed, pat each other on the shoulder, make jokes, and just so relieved. What did we do, we process through our life. I mean, I don't want to see whole life because there's not that much time for it, but through the most important things, then right things, and there's just so much relief over the whole thing that they do step into a different vibration.
Sammy Uyama
So you mentioned that the majority of the people that contact you, it's because of a teenager dealing with some food addiction often or some challenging behavior. And I imagine that as with all things that prevention is always better than reacting, and so a lot of this work would reap a lot of benefits doing before some problem occurring, would you say? It appears like a sudden out-of-the-blue thing but is usually a build-up of something. So my question is, who our family could family Healing Sessions be good for if you're not necessarily in this demographic of we have a problem in our family, you know, our child is doing drugs or whatever this you can. Other people or maybe they don't have children. Who I'm doing something like this?
Hilde Wiemann
Of course, all the things that I shared today, I believe that every single person should go through a family healing session. We could lift so much heaviness, anger and pain immediately lift if we would do this in this world. So the family healing session is really for everybody who is taking responsibility to clean up the emotional junk we have. And it doesn't matter if the person is single, everybody has an original family of origin, everybody has that. The sooner we start when the children are small, then there are fewer heavy things to process, there's hopefully not that much detachment, so we can begin on a different level. And that is something that I'm also adding to my work. In the last few years, I've trained some other people, coaches who first of all prepare through webinars, prepare families that come to me because it's impossible that you take as an individual, you take on so many families that you asked a family healing session.
Now suddenly, if they had three kids take on five people for therapy, over coaching, you don't. So I created a network, every command and whoever fits with the best the message, the personality, and so on. I match people with others striving towards creating programs that would also fit for preparation for younger families. But I think I just thought of something else when you were saying, I now at the same time when something is with a child and you do family work, you get confronted with the marriage that people need help in marriage. I've concluded now that everybody you asked, who should do a family healing session. Everybody who in this process to start dating, families with teenagers should have a family healing session even if they don't realize something is going on. They would save themselves so much stress, worry, disappointment, and maybe unwanted pregnancies or unwanted partners for love relationships with their kids that break their heart and so on. That is good be a preparation I was just talking to somebody and I said wow if I would all have all this money in the team around me I would I'm such a visionary you know, I have these ideas that guess we should have so much better the singles.com and singlethis.com and the singlethat.com right all these programs that are out there they would need that. And the preparation, how to prepare better? How am I a better person to get to this place?
So I always recommend David Steele for example "Conscious Dating". Eve Hogan, the "Intellectual Foreplay, a 100 questions to ask for lovers and lovers to be there. Then, of course, Real love and dating. There's on my website, there's 20-30 books recommended for the different things, personal development for preparation for marriage for young marriage, and also programs people can attend. For example, of course, I have clients who have affairs, there's the affair recovery and all kinds of programs. There's so much resource on my website so please just go to generationalhealing.org and you will find a lot more. There's a lot more to say about all this so I know we are short on time now but I just want to say that I am interested in just beginning to train professionals if they are coaches, social workers, therapists, psychologists, whatever to learn the protocol and this whole system of how to prepare the family for a family healing session. This is the next big project in my life, that is my legacy to leave behind so I want to train professionals because we need so many more who would be able to do something like this, even if it's on different levels, softer level, stronger level, whatever, but that's where we need my training. I started this spring, again, I've done three years ago. I am setting the bar a little higher now, and one professional who has full practice knows how to experience and know-how to work with people and just adding on my system, my method, and that's what I strive for, to train and I do it in three levels.
Professionals can start with something and become maybe just add on the program, how to prepare the family for a family healing session, or they continue further to learn how to do emotional processing, and they can stop there. But then if they want to go on and do these family Healing Sessions, they go into level three, to learn this, the goal is that so many more professionals would be available and don't have to get on an airplane, and fly because their mind is very unique and very few people are doing this around the world. Hopefully, we have some professionals available for families locally, make it more affordable, and also more personnel coming back to next meetings and so on. That is the goal of generational healing, to broaden, to multiply ourselves, and to make this a very known system that is helping us to create better parenting and world peace.
Sammy Uyama
You gave so many people, everyone so much to think about and you've opened many people's minds to a whole new world of possibility for their relationships and their family. So if people want to know more, or get in contact with you, for any reason, have any interest in working with you, or I think most keys, this last point you mentioned of you shifting the next phase of your life to training new people, so generationalhealing.org, that's the best place for people to find you.
Hilde Wiemann
Yes, that's the best place. Read through it, see all the resources, and then there's, of course, click on contact us. And then an email comes to me, I'll take care of all the emails personally respond to it and as I'm saying, If I can't take somebody, I always take people and create a healing plan for them as my first session and give them an overview on all this. Then I more or less send them to the webinars of the coaches of my network is also coaches mentioned on and therapists provide the professionals on my website, I match them with others to start the personal deeper work. So there is help for any and everybody possible that we get matched with other professionals and begin the journey.
Sammy Uyama
I love the ultimate vision for your work that you have is that starting with the family unit, and healing the family will ultimately lead to world peace. That's beautiful.
Hilde Wiemann
Right. Thank you because so much is into politics and we think that they will solve our problems. When we become different people and we said we don't change, we just bring the light that we have inside of us that we uncover the light inside of us and bring forward our divinity. That is when the world will move into a different vibration and we will live better, happier, and resolve a new understanding and new skills, and the releasing of the old traumas we will step into a new existence.
Sammy Uyama
So Hilde, is there anything else that you'd like to plug in or let people know about something that people can get excited about looking forward to in the future?
Hilde Wiemann
Well, there's not enough time to say that I just want to mention go on my website to the page that's Hilltop Village, because I believe that we need to create villages. Every village raises a child right? I believe that we all lonely America is the worst in statistics of medication of addictions of suicide, and now maybe not suicide. Japan is ahead, you know, things like that. But to transform, it is really about outreach. I do want to recommend a book by Jillian Richardson, and the book is called "Unlonely Planet". I just recently read this, it is perfect. I mean, she just came out with this book by accident. I found her as I opened my email and so many suggestions. I mean, she changed the culture in New York, because that's where she landed and was lonely but so many other ideas of how we can create communities online and eventually when COVID is over offline. So I started something online, but I connected to my community and living around that is around me creating through art and other things that community coming together and I weave in my knowledge and experience and parenting. And at this moment, people from anywhere in the world could of course come online and participate in this and learn how they can create their communities around them. Villages making small communities I strongly believe will be the support so we don't have this feeling of who am I? Where do I belong to? I'm so alone in this big world with this many people, and I'm lonely. This is where we eventually through the communities can get what we need the time, touch, talk, and belonging all our love needs to be are met in a healthy way instead of unhealthy.
Sammy Uyama
Very exciting.
Hilde Wiemann
Yeah, look up hilltop Village. I'm so excited about it.
Sammy Uyama
Everything you've shared with us as soon as possible and post COVID world, we have to go back to an offline world of face-to-face connection and physical touch. We can't keep doing this online, isolated wave living, temporary. So we'll point and you shared a lot of fantastic books, writers, and resources. So we'll make sure to link all of these so people can check them out, it'd be easier for them to have that list. So the best place to learn about all these things is generationalhealing.org and that's why when I gather is that you've, you've shared about all these things.
Hilde Wiemann
Right, and there's more on the website so just go there. And if you have any more questions or anything, then just write me an email and connect. I'm so grateful for having this opportunity that you asked me questions that I can reach out to, that so many listeners can gain something from this. I mean, I'm just so thrilled and happy, thank you.
Sammy Uyama
Likewise, thanks so much for just sharing not just your wisdom, but your heart, the culmination of your life's... we can call, your interest, love, and passion.
Hilde Wiemann
Thank you.
Sammy Uyama
Thank you, everybody, for listening. I hope you had a good time with us, and we'll see you next time. Hey, before you go, I wanted you to consider checking out High Noon Connect. So if you go to our website, highnoon.org you'll notice, first of all, we have a brand new website, which is beautiful. Also, you'll notice that there's the opportunity to join High Noon Connect. The essence of what High Noon is morphing into is a community. We are better together and sexual integrity involves other people. If you're struggling with pornography, you need the help of brothers and sisters of people in a community dedicated to helping lift you. And even if you're not if you're in a relationship, and you just want more intimacy, more love, more joy, or if you're single, and you just want to be a person that can live according to their values in the area of sexuality and you want to be around a group of people who are fighting in the same way then please go to highnoon.org and sign up for High Noon Connect. There's a free version and a paid version. We want to make this as accessible as possible. And we're nonprofit so we're not trying to make a buck here. We're just trying to create a community off of Facebook that gives a focused conversation, focused energy, focused attention on building sexual integrity as a cultural intention. So go to highnoon.org, we'll see you there.