#55 - The Kingdom of Heaven(ly Sex) on Earth
Why does healthy, clean sex have such a bad rep, and people often go for the hypersexualized yet completely unrealistic option? Why is fantasy sex more sought after than heavenly sex?
Whether it be video games, the movies, or all the shows that we binge-watch on various streaming channels, sex has been the selling point. However, the unhealthy presentation of sex in these various media often causes an imbalance that, if not corrected early on, will reap all sorts of problems and challenges for an individual within and outside a committed relationship.
Listen to Episode 55 to know more about heavenly sex and High Noon’s 15-Day Challenge!
Sex is connected to so much of the hardships and the dangers that exist in the world
Sex is not just about hoping that it doesn't become negative, it's meant to be a huge positive
Sexual scandals are predominantly caused by men who abuse their power
Lovemaking is the recommitment to the mind, body, and spirit of another person
When it comes to media, imagine the possibility of unbridled creativity that doesn't rely on sex
The heavy use of and reliance on video games as escapism, which is extremely hypersexualized
Porn and media stimulate the division between men and women and denigrates the relationship between men and women
The absence of intimacy creates division
Highnoon.org - 15-day challenge
Episode Transcript:
Andrew Love: Welcome back to Love, Life, Legacy podcast, dedicated to helping you understand and navigate these hyper-sexualized times of ours. So you can make decisions based on your hopes and dreams and your ideals rather than the low standard that society conforms to. And in today's episode, Sammy and I do a little bit of a mental exercise. It's really cool. We're envisioning what would a world of High Noon, world of total sexual integrity, look like? What would the politics look like? What would the art and media and culture look like? It's a really good exercise. And I just want to really make this clear that this is just Sammy and me, envisioning, dreaming about the world that we want to help create.
But we want you to do this exercise too, constantly, as much as possible to dream about the world that you're helping to create when you build your own sexual integrity. And the more that you relate with it in your mind and in your heart, the more that it's going to be inevitable. The more of us that think and are working from that place, the more that we will make it happen. So please enjoy this episode and don't think of it as some quirky little thing that Sammy and I are doing, but please feel invited to do this yourself in your own time. Enjoy.
Sammy Uyama: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Love Life and Legacy Podcast. It's your hosts, your buddies, your boys, Mr. Sammy Uyama together with..
Andrew Love: Andy, little Andy. That's my name when I want, when I want sympathy, I'm little Andy. Hey guys, it's me, little Andy.
Sammy Uyama: It's another great day. I don't know about over in Bali. It's been really cold here. Talking Celsius, minus 10 degrees. I biked to work every day, so I'm starting to feel it. It's getting to me.
Andrew Love: Got it. In Canada, we use centigrade celsius but the older I get, the less I understand anything about temperature, and I forget what anything means. So it sounds cold, sounds cold, frigid. And does your-snot-freezes kind of cold?
Sammy Uyama: Oh, no. I don't know if it's quite that much yet. I tested, it's not at that point where your pee would freeze as you peeing, while you're outside. I don't know if that's a real thing at all.
Andrew Love: That's from the movie, Frozen, I think. No, but there's I mean, definitely I'm from Canada. Any Canadian knows that especially when you get, Toronto, people think, is cold. Nothing compares to Montreal. Or if you go to Alberta, like oh my goodness, it's so cold in these places. Many days, your nostril can freeze to itself, like the inside can just freeze to the outside and it's a disaster. It's the worst feeling. So you're not quite there yet?
Sammy Uyama: Still a little ways off from that, and I do also bundle up a lot. Because while you're riding on the bike, it gets really cold with the wind blowing against you. It's frigid, for sure.
Andrew Love: So here in Bali, there is no winter. Of course it's tropical, but there's a rainy season, which we're in the midst of, which means that you can be on your scooter having the time of your life and then it's like, God starts spitting in your eyes and it's painful. I actually had a raindrop land in my eyeball yesterday, and it was excruciating, painful. Felt like I got stabbed, stabbed with a knife gun, like a bayonet. So yeah, we're in that season. It's exciting because there's a lot of, after a rain, it's always a good smell. So we're feeling good but that's not why we're here.
Well, I'm glad we're getting visual though, because that is a big part of what we're talking about. We wanted to paint a picture, we wanted to do a mental exercise of envisioning a future, the future that we're working towards. And this is extremely important in your life, to not just have a generalized sense of goal but to have, start to materialize that vision for your life, for your future in your mind. So it's so real, it's just as real as anything else. And so we wanted to do that on a global level, talking about what would the world be like if we got sex right? So Sammy, if you could close your eyes and envision a world that finally, since the beginning of time we've been off, and what if we finally got it right? What would society look like?
Sammy Uyama: That is something to think about? If you look deeply enough, sex is connected to so much of the hardship and the danger that exists in the world. So the first words that come to mind is safety. Now, will it actually stay where you don't have to worry as much about who your children are playing with and whose friend's house that they will read. And then going to the park on their own, or even in an issue when there's parts of the world where a woman can't walk alone at night, like big cities. Big cities, where it's just expected that they'll get assaulted, raped, and these people roaming around looking to take advantage of people who they can take advantage of. All the pain that, misusing sex can cause just the absence of that itself, how much of a better world that would be? I mean, just starting off, that's the first thing that comes to mind. And then I also think it goes way bigger than that.
It's like sex is such a, it's not just meant to be hoping that it doesn't become a negative, it's meant to be a huge positive. So then you start thinking about what were the positive results for people, and they have a feeling of sexual life and the vision of sexual energy, and in the proper way, how much more creative people will become, how much more productive people will become? What do you think?
Andrew Love: Absolutely, they'd be less prone to being corrupted. So politicians, I'm infuriated by the state of our global politics because nobody's trustworthy, because everybody's compromisable. And the one common denominator is that it's predominantly men, who abuse their power, and there's some sort of sexual scandal in there, whether it's brought to the surface or not. It's just kind of like this given, that's a part of that echelon of society. So imagine, leaders that you could really trust that are making sober decisions based on their ideals and based on, they left the house, kissing their wife, and their hearts filled up with hope, and confidence, because their wife loves them. And conversely that, there'll be more female politicians that are empowered too, and even better.
I had this vision once, what if we seize, completely cut off the single president model and we had couples, we were voting for couples, as any political leadership. And we obviously, would have to give them a little bit more money. You don't look at what this person is saying, you look at their credibility as a couple? Can they build a healthy family? Do they contribute to their community? Are they trustworthy as a couple, because the decision that a couple makes will be otherworldly different than a bunch of men in suits in a room. Imagine they all brought their wives to work. Imagine the UN, it's like a couple and say, it's like totally different. And of course, they'd be fighting. But if you had a good Tony Robbins character in the room, somebody to navigate. David Young's really good at helping people to navigate through conflict like a life coach on hand, then you'd come up with the best ideas that are more comprehensive than what we have.
Diversity isn't just like a slogan, it's needed because you don't have access to certain things. A man does not have access to certain thoughts that women do, and vice versa. So to have them both creating ideas together, creates a whole idea. We actually have been just creating the world based off of a bunch of half ideas or quarter ideas, or less. They're not whole, it's not the complete picture. So I just see, first in the realm of politics, that you have people who are fulfilled making decisions based off of being fulfilled, rather than trying to take as much as they can because they're coming from a place of lack and need, and greed. And that's a complete entire political landscape.
Sammy Uyama: Interesting, right there. We're just looking at one aspect of life sex and how much ripple effect we can identify for it. How much trauma happens in families? A lot of people, their issues that they have in life, that's where it starts. People actually growing up in healthy homes with parents who get along and really are in love with each other, that's like a huge brushstroke. Just erasing a bunch of potential problems.
Andrew Love: Absolutely.
Sammy Uyama: Jails would get minimized, a lot less crime. Man, what else? The business, I don't know, what effect would getting sex or having business?
Andrew Love: I was having a great conversation with somebody about how the measure of the health of a country, is its GDP, which is basically productivity with the economy, it's how much money it's worth. Not based on the happiness of the people, not based off of how well they're taking care of the environment for subsequent generations. There's no other factor other than how much money they presently have, which is the dumbest measurement ever. Because I can't say, Sammy, how happy are you? Show me your bank account? That's not a measure of your happiness whatsoever, so why is it a measure of that, of the health of a country.
So the measurement would be fundamentally different if you had people who were, again, whole who are coming from, their starting point being fulfilled, then you just want more of that. When you're in a healthy state of mind, you just want other people to be healthy. When you are struggling, you don't care about other people, you're just trying to survive. So like sexual fulfillment is such a deep part of our overall fulfillment. And when you're not getting that from a sustainable source of love, like a committed couple, then you're actually wreaking havoc on all that you do. I can't help but see that business, the measurement of a healthy corporation, wouldn't be the metric, wouldn't be finances alone at all? It would be how much contribution? How much?
Sammy Uyama: You know what I'm going to say, they have the orgasm meter going on in the company.
Andrew Love: Yeah. After you've made, not had sex, after you've made love and you've solidified, and cemented in many ways, your commitment to loving this person, that's really what lovemaking is to me. It's the recommitment to the mind, body, spirit of another person. When you have a bunch of people constantly engaging at that level, they walk around lighter, for sure, with smiles on their faces. They're more generous because they're not stressed. They're not worried, they're not as insecure. They're coming from a place of: Hey, I'm good. You're good?
Imagine a company where the boss is never stressed out. I mean, or if they are, then it becomes precedent to resolve that immediately, instead of hide it or yell at your employees, or take it out on you. Because I'm sure anybody who's listening, if you've had a boss that just yells at you relentlessly, or they're really insecure and all that, go and think about how you think their marriage was at that time, or their relationship. Probably wasn't thriving, probably was not thriving. And like you were saying, In Korea, there are all these bosses that forced their employees to go out to dinner with them all the time, after work and make them stay. And that's just expected that you have to go and you have to hang out with your boss until 11 at night, and most of these guys are men who don't want to go home to their wives. They wouldn't be avoiding their home, it'd be a totally different dynamic.
Sammy Uyama: Wow, yeah, what else?
Andrew Love: Think about the media? What will the media be like, what will our music be like, what are movies be like?
Sammy Uyama: Just wholesome practice. It might, you could say, might be more boring. Is it because we can't imagine what will media would look like without those things in it, so that we just have to imagine the possibility of unbridled creativity that doesn't rely on sex. But I think that it can be really awesome still, we can enter a new level of humor, or a new level of drama, and all the fun genres.
Andrew Love: Absolutely. I used to say it in lectures, but I always wanted to see a James Bond character, who is deeply in love with his wife and who would come home and kiss his wife and his wife, maybe he could share with her everything, maybe not. Maybe it was just an understanding that he was a secret agent and there's certain things they can talk about. But instead, basically, everybody that James Bond had sex with would die within that very same movie, and she would definitely never make it to the next movie, regardless. That to me is so depressing, and he was an alcoholic. And later, this really self- destructive person and that's the guy saving the world. What if the guy saving the world was, first of all, what if it's a couple? That's really cool, like The Incredibles, our family's watch The Incredibles part two, probably 20 times, because it's like an entire family of superheroes. If there'll be more movies like that that celebrate what happens when a family works well together, it's so cool.
Sammy Uyama: People as an individual level would be so much more at ease. They'd be a lot less compensating in the world, like so much of what people do is a compensation for something, some legitimate need that they have, a desire that something feels missing or lacking, and that gets filled. And then there'd be more realness like people do things because they really want to, rather than, to say in order to make up for something or to get something.
Andrew Love: Sure. Okay, if you were to look at music, I would think that entire new genres of music would come to the surface and other genres would either have to completely be revolutionized and changed. Or they would just die like emo, emo would be gone. Unless it's like, kind of humorous, like a funny husband whining and wife whining, and then there's some sort of resolution, but like hip hop, largely is complaining. And it's largely if you look within, people who do not have good relationships with their parents or with most of these, the famous rappers are not married, and do not have good relations, like healthy relationships. So those genres would either just die out, or they would just be the focus of, instead of calling women bitches they'd be calling women, my sister. And that changes the feeling you get when you listen to that music. Punk rock, I think there's still space for all this music, it's just like where you're coming from, because it could still be cool.
Sammy Uyama: Emo doesn't have a chance? They're just out of the picture.
Andrew Love: They just feel like there's no saving it. I mean, it's already teetering on the edge of not being legitimate.
Sammy Uyama: One thing, I think that love songs would just get so much deeper and profound. It's like the place that people will be able to come from the material and their understanding would just be so much more profound than just talking about: No, I glanced at this girl across the bar and sparks flew. My brother, he pointed out to me, but probably 80 or 90% of love songs somewhere throwing the phrase, throughout the night all night long.
Andrew Love: It's pretty pitiful. It's pretty low, Sammy. Those songs, that Louis Armstrong song that's like: I see a friend shaking her, you can't if you're just alone listening to that song, you are weeping. Because it's about something that transcends all of us, it's coming. The essence of that song is so rich and deep, that it slays you every time you hear it, whereas, typical songs, you might get a certain feeling from it for the first 20 times, when you listen to it, and then it kind of fades away. But like real songs that have depth, that's talking about eternal truth is like a couple that's been married for 45 years, and how they have been through so much. And through it all, they never gave up on each other and they're just holding hands, and a song like that will absolutely annihilate you, every time you listen to it, because it cuts through all the crap and goes to what we all want deeply. It's more timeless. There's so much more timeless material right there and maybe if emo can make a song about..
Sammy Uyama :You could always, you could talk about how hard of a time you're having at school, or how difficult exams are.
Andrew Love: But then at every track has the parents recording at the end of it be like: yeah, yeah, we love you anyway. Like if every sound could end in a high note, instead of just whining, so that's the one thing that I think the media is really stuck in, is it raises questions, and it never has answers because the artists themselves don't have the answers. So if you look at most songs, if you look at most movies, they're not answering any questions. They're asking questions because they don't have the answers, and they definitely don't have the authority to answer tough questions. Not in a way that really makes sense, and so there'll be a lot more watching movies and walking away feeling like your soul is at peace, because it contributed to the answer that you're seeking. What about, what would buildings look like? What would streets look like? If you think about cities, they have no color for the most part. Do you think that has anything to do with it?
The only thing I can riff off of is just uncle David matching him? If people had sex right, there would just be a lot more phallic- shaped buildings. I mean, that's the only thing I can imagine. I don't know what the effect would have on buildings. Families, if things were family- centered, then cities would look way different. There'd be a lot more pedestrian space, space for walking. Things would be more neighborhood- oriented, rather than right now, cities are built for commuters, and then big roads, lots of driving back and forth and if that's less prioritized, that'd be a lot more space for parks, for neighborhood cafes or grocery stores. And then just making everything more walkable and that would drastically change the way neighbors look, the way cities look.
I've never, in my life and I've been around the world, I've never in my life been in a restaurant that was designed for families. Some of them accommodate families, a little bit more than others, but they were not designed for families. And it's simply because there's no space, it's not a priority. But then if you look at grocery stores, if you look at every facet of our society forces us to make little kids act like adults, instead of letting little kids be little kids. IKEA kind of has a little kid playground, but I don't really let my kids go there, COVID or not, there's some unknown diseases in those, so nasty, unsanitary conditions. But yeah, you're right, and more parks because it's not a luxury, it's a priority. Cars would be different.
Sammy Uyama: A lot of minivans. You're into cars, you actually have made something say about this, but the whole luxury sports car field, how much of a demand do you think there'll be on things like that?
Andrew Love: I think that's not going anywhere.
Sammy Uyama: Okay.
Andrew Love: There will always be 47 year old men who need to prove themselves or who have enough extra expendable cash to get that car, they've always wanted to race around and feel the power. There's this is one guy that I know that I've been following for a while online, and when it gets to a certain level of wealth, you just buy a car, a really nice car for two years, then you trade it and you basically don't lose any money. And when you're in a car that feels like you're a shark amongst minnows, it's so hard to give up that feeling.
So I would find that dudes will always be dudes, and they'll always be a need for that. Again, it will be a different place, you're not trying to show off to get ladies. It's just that there's some people who just really like cars and like racing around and they do it even if the zombie apocalypse came in, there's no people to impress. So being in a Lamborghini, there's nothing wrong with that. But maybe a Lamborghini would be a little bit quicker to come up with the Lamborghini minivan. They do have an SUV.
Sammy Uyama: I've seen one of those here in Korea, randomly. It's very unexpected. Video games, I think video games would go down, I think.
Andrew Love: Go down? Less?
Sammy Uyama: Yeah, I mean, I like video games so I'm not bashing video games. But I think the way that a lot of people use video games is as escapism and that use of video games will go down and so just overall, it would reduce the whole use of computer gaming and the whole market would get smaller, I think.
Andrew Love: Or there'll be a lot more, four player, five player games. Nintendo, we brought a lot of people together.
Sammy Uyama: I'm gonna bring you to the modern era, Andrew, so you don't certainly don't sound out of the loop and old. So games now, everything is done online.
Andrew Love: I see.
Sammy Uyama: Multi-person, there’re consoles, but people don't really like the three/ four person games, two person games, so much anymore. It's usually much bigger than that, it's like multiple, it's like Cyberpunk 2077, that's really the anticipated one right now. And it's like a whole world, with thousands of people interacting at the same time. That's a lot of games that people do or Halo, these kind of first person shooter games, there's usually dozens of people doing that at same time. I was trying to save you, man.
Andrew Love: I mean fitness! I've actually been really trying to incorporate what fitness that our family can do. But it's difficult because I'm obviously at a different fitness level than my two year old son. But lately, I've just been making it a point to lift them up and we play Superman, just lift them up and they fly around and, I actually am curling them. I'm doing bicep curls with them. But there's no like, gyms are not a place for kids and if there is a place for kids, it's like dumping them in this room so you can do what you want to do. But think about fitness as a family, that's a completely different vibe.
Sammy Uyama: I do also think that there's, not everything has to be centered around the family. There's a place for normal gyms and as they are, for just people to be, who don't have kids? To be single or who need a break from their kids even, the lowest hanging fruit and I think the thing that would make the biggest difference is the way women are treated would be so different. And that is world we're seeing, I think, just where these horror stories of what women have to endure in school, just walking around, online, in their own heads, all driven by sex and a lot of ways, and that'll be huge in itself.
Andrew Love: Yeah, and I guess, giving women the freedom to be women, because even in today's world, a lot of women that we celebrate as being leaders, they're still playing a man's game. And it's not giving them the freedom to really be the true true true, deep deep deep, true true selves, because there's just no space for it. So yes, that's totally right. The emphasis, so porn and most media, it stimulates this kind of division between men and women, and objectifies women and just kind of denigrates the relationship between men and women. Imagine listening to movies, or watching movies, listening to music, and going on the internet, and then you come off the internet, feeling like you love and appreciate woman more, and woman love themselves more than love men more and you just feel like more connected, rather than more divided, which is what our present media really does. Because it creates, it stimulates this desire to have another person but not in a healthy way, just more than like: I need you, I want you, I need you for a temporary bit- way. As a consumer, rather than I feel connected to you, and I want to help you and support you and your dreams, it's more like I want you to fulfill my dreams. Because the creators of this content and the rulers of our internet are typically not in healthy relationships.
Again, imagine how countries communicate with each other. How that would change, that's the whole premise of the principle is it starts individual, family, neighborhood, or society, nation, world kind of thing. But there's a direct ripple effect, if local and national politicians are themselves in loving relationships, they would want to be less violent towards each other. Because they feel more connected to the people in the countries that they're about to be violent too. Again, when you're closer to the person that you want to be, and you surround yourself with people you care about and you're intimate with them, it cultivates more of a sense of intimacy with the world around you. And when you don't have that, the absence of intimacy creates division, and you don't care about people as much.
When you leave your house, and you have to say you're in a marriage, and your spouse kisses you, and they profess their love, and you really feel it and you walk down the street and you see a homeless person, you're going to look at them differently, like you're related to them. And if you leave the house having a fight, divided and you walk past that same homeless person, you're going to judge them, or you're going to not want to look at them, because they remind you of how sad you are. That's a fundamental difference. And when you have somebody who has access to a button that can shoot a rocket towards a bunch of people, it really depends on how they left the house. It really depends on how much love they have in their heart.
Sammy Uyama: Yeah, man sex, it's something to think about, what else is there that you could talk about, so many ripple effects with other than sex? I mean, you can't talk about money this way. You can't talk about education this way, could you? Are college opportunities, college education, I mean, you can't talk about medicine this way. They all valid important topics but there's nothing else that ripples as far as sex does.
Andrew Love: Yes, it's very true. Because saying it is the first time I've said it out loud, but asking somebody how happy they are by looking at their bank account is ridiculous, it is fundamentally ridiculous. If that's your only assessment of somebody, it's laughable, because it says nothing about what they do with their time and who they spend their days with. It says nothing about their actual satisfaction, so yes, the levels of intimacy that you do have with your spouse when you're married, says a lot about your overall happiness. Because I definitely believe, if you're at war with your spouse, there's no peace in any aspect of your life. It's that piece that you take with you or the the lack of peace that you take into the world with you, so sex is really the litmus test in many ways. For how your couple is doing.
Sammy Uyama: Yes, sir.
Andrew Love: So this was a good exercise. Again, the point is, what would your life look like, if you had 100% healthy sexual integrity and 0% struggling with porn or anything like that? What would your life look like, and how would you fill your time? And it's really important to spend time thinking about that and contemplating, and practicing it until it becomes real. And then we as a group of people can work on, what would society look like, and then let's just make it happen. But it really requires that each of us take care of ourselves and our families and that has a cascade effect. So please, I'm challenging you to create a vision and to create a standard that allows you to fulfill that vision for yourself, and let us help you by joining High Noon University, everybody. Please go to highnoon.org.
Sammy Uyama: All right. Thank you. I guess that's all we got for you guys today. Thank you very much. And don't just listen to this and think that's interesting, and go on with your day, stay five minutes, a little bit of time, close your eyes. Think about for yourself, you can start big or you can start small, go the other direction, what would the world look like if we all got sex right? And then what would your life look like if you got sex right? And create a clear vision for yourself and then run towards that. What else is worth it? By getting life right? What assignment or what thing can keep you so busy and distracted from actually making this one shot I like that you have from doing it right and doing it well?
Andrew Love: Test it out. Because that's just as likely as any other conclusion, so long as it's your focus. So good luck, and let us know how it goes. And we'll talk to you next time.
I hope you found that episode enjoyable. And before we go, I wanted to challenge you to take your life on, to take your life to the next level. And if you're struggling in any way with pornography, with masturbation, with issues of sexuality that just are not helping you at all, if you want to reclaim your life, reclaim your eyes and ears, your time your energy, then take our free 15- Day Challenge. If you go to highnoon.org, you can find our 15- Day Challenge right there on the front page. Take it, it's absolutely free, no strings attached. We've designed it to help you gain some level of momentum in your journey of sexual integrity, so that you can take the next step, whatever that may be, it could be to go to our deeper ascend program, which is a 90- Day program we have, could be to reach out to that accountability partner, it could be to just take the whatever steps you need to take in your journey to build the life of heavenly sexuality that you deserve. So go to highnoon.org right now if you want to break up with porn and start to get engaged with the life of your dreams and eventually marry it. Doesn't it sound nice? So go to highnoon.org to find all of those resources and more. It's been a slice.