#100 - How to Confidently Talk with Your Kids About Porn | Marylin Evans
We live in the digital age where the Internet is widely available to almost everyone. This also means that access to pornographic websites has been very easy. Most children nowadays have their own gadgets and as early as the age of three, they have the knowledge of using the internet which is filled with dangerous websites which can be a bad influence and can have a negative impact on their values formation, mental health, and well-being.
There is no pre-written script or ideal time to begin a healthy conversation about porn with your children. But because children are naturally curious, parents must constantly be prepared to talk about this matter and answer questions that they might be thinking of. Starting the conversation in a light-hearted but healthy manner can have a significant impact on their behavior and mindset, not only about pornography but about a variety of other troubling issues which they may be exposed to.
In this episode, we are joined by Marylin Evans, a public speaker and founder of Parents Aware, a website where she offers one-on-one coaching to help parents prepare for the potential monsters they will inevitably encounter in their children’s virtual lives. Through her own Media Savvy Mom’s Podcast, she assists parents in planning and preparing to speak to their children about pornography and healthy sexuality in a straightforward, open, honest, and compassionate manner.
Marylin brings us along as she describes how her mother's role as an anti-porn activist in Canada made her receptive to the topic about porn as early as her teenage years, and how this affected her ability to start the healthy talk about pornography and sexuality with her children as a parent.
We must protect our children at all costs. Learn more about how to comfortably talk about porn with your kids and how it can help both parents and children be aware of pornography and its bad influence when you listen to Episode 100!
Starting a healthy conversation about porn with your children
Finding the right flow of conversation with your children
The misunderstanding of how pornography affects individuals
How Marylin started her own website
Implementation of age verification on pornographic websites in Canada
Acknowledging pornography as an issue
Parents Aware’s moonshot dream
Learning to start a conversation about the harms of pornography and healthy sexuality with your parents
Episode Transcript:
Andrew Love
Hey, y'all. Welcome back to Love, Life and Legacy, a podcast that is dedicated to helping you navigate these hypersexualized times of ours. And parents, this one's for you. Okay. You know at High Noon, we want kids to talk to their parents, parents to talk to their kids about sexuality, pornography, and the whole shebang. Because when we hide stuff, we form shadows, we form shame, fear, doubt, all these negative emotions that get infused into our sexual experience, and it wreaks havoc. It is clearly not a beneficial thing to not talk about sex between parents and children. But the question is, how? How do we do this? And so, to be honest, we had this amazing guest, her name is Marylin Evans. Through interviewing Marylin, I realized, wow, we haven't not gone into a lot of specifics about how to have these conversations. This is why this is such a valuable conversation. Marylin has started an initiative that she has dubbed parents aware, you can go to parentsaware.info. And on there, there's a free newsletter which she updates weekly. And there's an online course. And she even provides coaching, one-on-one coaching to help parents have these conversations. Because we know, and this is something that she's really against is, get off the fence. She really tries to get parents to get off that fence and stop stalling and kicking the can down the road and just have the conversation. Start conversing with your kids. And if you are not totally 100% confident in having a talk with your kids about sex, about pornography, then please listen to this. Please consume this content. Please visit our website and start practicing because this takes power away from porn. When we own our sexual journey, nobody else can control us. But if we leave empty space, it will get filled one way or another. And in the lives of our children, porn is almost inevitable. So let's help them out by conversing with them. And let's get into this wonderful conversation about her personal situation with her own five sons about her mother and how her mom was fighting porn well before it was cool, and about her great initiative that she started all the way from Toronto, Canada. So welcome Marylin Evans.
Andrew Love
Welcome back, everybody. We have another amazing guest here for you today. All the way from Canada, her name is Marilyn Evans, and she's a public speaker. She's the founder of something called Parents Aware which you'll learn about in parentsaware.info. We'll link that in the description. But that has a podcast on it which is Media Savvy Moms Podcast. She has a weekly newsletter that's completely free. And she's also a coach for parents, which is really important because she's trying to help parents have the conversation that it seems like she wished she had for all five of her boys, which is probably the most impressive fact because I have three boys, and I thought that's the maximum that a human being could handle. But she has five sons, two of which are married. And she somehow really got called to make this process easier for subsequent parents so that we can all evolve faster and not repeat the same mistakes. So please welcome Marylin Evans from Canada, welcome.
Marylin Evans
So glad to be here, Andrew.
Andrew Love
Yes, this is really cool. So another contact of Pierre's, by the way. Shout out to Pierre Beauregard, who's always hooking us up with the people on the front line. So okay, you have five sons?
Marylin Evans
I do. Yes.
Andrew Love
That's amazing because you look like you're 27 years old. Raising them, I mean, if two of them are married then it's still wasn't like smartphones. But it was internet in the house. Right?
Marylin Evans
That's right. In fact, our oldest was born pretty much simultaneously when the internet became accessible to the general population.
Andrew Love
Got it. And so at what point, what was the evolution of this scenario where you have kids in the house, you have the internet which is this nascent creation, and then they're merging forces? At what point did you realize that this was not productive or that there's cause for concern?
Marylin Evans
I guess I thought I was doing everything right, or I was just so naive that this wouldn't be impactful to our family. I'm going to go back a bit to when I was a teen. I actually had a mother who was very active in the fight against pornography. He's the president of an organization called Canadians Addressing Sexual Exploitation, which doesn't exist anymore. But I watched my mom from a distance fight pornography. And I didn't really give it much thought as I was raising my own kids. It was a different conversation that she was having at that time, because of course, this was pre-internet days, and the internet was just new to us as parents. And so, we were doing our best to raise our kids just lovingly and instilling good core values in them, and certainly, that's not going to touch them. Well, it did. And I think I probably was coming to that realization that if I have a computer in my home, and it's connected to the internet like having every porn magazine, that's what I was thinking at that time at home as well. So it's coming to that realization, at the same time, our kids were actually, we are so grateful that they actually came to us in tears one at a time and said, I'm struggling. I'm looking at this. And at first, my reaction was like, okay, well, that wasn't my reaction. I was freaking out. My husband was the more rational one at that time. He's like, okay, you know, this is all right. We're going to deal with this. But I think we both thought we had the conversation, that was it. I had no idea as a parent, the draw that pornography would be to call people back to look at it again.
Andrew Love
Can I ask, because if your mom was so involved, was she bringing her work home with her? And was this a very common conversation like at the dinner table, you'd be talking about this? Or did she separate her passions from her parenting?
Marylin Evans
That's why I say it was a different conversation. We were still that family that I think most of my generation is, and maybe even younger that didn't talk openly about sex. And we talked about pornography in terms of, oh yes, my mom is on the radio talking to some guy who's pro-porn. We knew that was happening, and she's politically active. But no, it wasn't the conversation like, okay, this is really harmful and you need to avoid pornography. She was doing it more as from a, let's get porn out of the corner store. Let's get it off the books, you know, the eye level of kids, let's raise the age of consent, things like that.
Andrew Love
Yes. Well, that's the reason why I asked at the beginning of this conversation because there is sometimes a dichotomy between the activist side of a person and their personal life, which is a lot of times why it's easier to talk about things like human trafficking, because it's clearly egregious, and everybody can agree that it's terrible. But then, as it pertains to pornography, that's when the details get a little bit muddy, and it's hard to talk about it. So you grew up aware of pornography through conversations with your mom as this ominous force outside over there, but not in terms of like, what about sex in the home and in your life? Did that impact your ability to communicate with your kids?
Marylin Evans
It was a process that I guess I came to this understanding over a couple of years time, I realized, okay, this is impacting our kids. It's probably impacting other people. Nobody's talking about it. It is this thing that no one seems to be able to discuss appropriately. We think in pornography, we're not going to go there. We can talk about all those other things that you mentioned, consent, trafficking, abuse, but we can't seem to talk about pornography. So I was doing some coursework myself and finishing up my degree in Home, Family, and Social Sciences. And so, I was reading about these wonderful relationships, parent-to-child, and I honestly would say that our relationship with our kids was amazing. But I realized I was missing this important component as I can talk to my kids, but can I talk to them about sex? And so I actually asked one of my older kids at that time that he was in high school, I said, let's just put it out on the table. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate me on my openness to talk about sex and pornography? And he's like, three. And I honestly thought he was being generous. I knew that that was the answer. And so I can almost pinpoint the time where I was like, it's not them, it's me. I have to change my parenting approach. And so I went from being very shy and very inhibited about talking to this about these things to trying to do my very best to figure out ways to make this more comfortable. And so when I talk to parents about this, I really am coming from that same place. I've been in those shoes. I understand the worries, the concerns, the fears, like what if I see the wrong thing? What if I talk too much? What if it's this or that? Those are all the things that I had to learn.
Andrew Love
That's awesome. That's very, very helpful. So I'd like to talk about this from both perspectives from the kids because we're talking to a lot of younger people as well who are going through porn. And a lot of them would love to talk to their parents. They don't know how their parents are going to react. They don't know how to initiate. This is way beyond their pay grade as kids. They don't know how to talk to their parents. But likewise, the parents it's like the old spider situation where you're afraid of spiders and spiders are afraid of you. So the parents are afraid to talk to the kids, kids are talking to their parents. So what were some of the things that you tried, and maybe they didn't work out and some of the other things that you tried that did work out in terms of going from zero to one, that the place where many parents are deathly afraid to go from nothing to something? What were some difficult moments, if you'd like to share if you can, or some proud moments, some breakthroughs that you have?
Marylin Evans
Yes. So we know, I have five boys, and they do stand at the age of 13 years. And so, I feel like I have two different parenting experiences. So I have my younger kids, and I already knew that pornography was targeting kids. So I was starting fresh with the younger ones, and wanting to try a different approach. And so I looked for materials and resources that could help me have that conversation. So I found a book called Good Pictures, Bad Pictures. I wouldn't say I started with my youngest first. There are probably simultaneous conversations going on. But I started with my youngest reading this book, and I was nervous to open up this children's book that was designed to have this healthy conversation. But by the time we got to the end of the first chapter, and the first chapter is like a page and a half long, we both were really comfortable. And for reading along, and I'm getting taught at the same time how pornography or any addictive substance is how the brain responds to that. And so it's kind of a little science-y type book but it's lovely illustrations. And our next will descend, you know, when mom's reading a story, let's jump in. Let's jump on the bed and join in for storytime. So those two had a different experience where the older ones and one of her children really did struggle quite a bit. I was looking more for resources to help overcome pornography.
Marylin Evans
To answer your question, how did I do it? Yes, I made a lot of mistakes. There's no doubt about that. But what I've learned along the way is that it's not how you start the conversation as much as how you end it. So if I was nervous, I learned to say, okay, I'm really nervous to talk to you about this. And if my body language was all tensed and agitated, I will just be like, I love you and I'm going to get over my nerves, and we're going to have this conversation. So just being real with your emotions, real with who you are as a parent, they see your vulnerabilities that help them open up a little more. It's not like we're the perfect parent, they're the child that's getting into mischief. We're just trying to be allied together to overcome this challenge.
Andrew Love
We talked about you introducing it through a book, but how did you then return back to it even when you were nervous or whatever, how did you find the flow of conversation with the kids?
Marylin Evans
That's a great question. So I found ways to bring up the topic. To be perfectly honest, I have to remind myself all the time still. The children that we have at home, and even the older kids, how do I keep the door open? Is it time to have that more honest and direct conversation? But in the in-between time, I look for just opportunities to talk to them about their growth and maturation, or just what I heard on the news that's going on. Hey, did you hear that... I'm so bad at recalling news. Did you hear what's poppin' today? Or sometimes they even say to them, who among your friends is dating? It's because not conversations about pornography don't have to start about pornography, or it's not just because it's balancing the harms of pornography with the healthy aspects of sex. And when I say sex, I don't mean just the act of having sex, but sexual development. So yes, kids have crushes and are in middle school so let's talk about who's dating, what does dating mean to you? Things like that. And for the longest time at the dinner table when I'd bring up what we thought were awkward conversations, everyone would roll their eyes up. But it just became over time that we could talk about these things that are just no big deal.
Andrew Love
So would you follow your intuition like, hey, it seems like it's a good time now to talk about it and you just start asking questions? Just like a little bit more naturally, or did you have to really take time to gear up and say, okay, I'm going to bring this up again?
Marylin Evans
Both. A lot of devices talk shoulder to shoulder with their kids, maybe be in the car and bringing up a topic when you know that in 10 minutes you're going to be home so everybody can be like, okay, I got through that. But I actually found that once we were open with this conversation, so once we had maybe used a resource to open the conversation, my kids felt that they were trusted by mom or dad to have these important conversations. So I find that I can go to my kids now and say, you know, I really want to talk to you one on one. And I could say, I want to talk to you about sex, or I want to talk to you about pornography, and it's not that big a deal. Now, that might not fly in every home and with every relationship, and I get that. Oh, yes. Follow your intuition. I can't tell you exactly how it will play out.
Andrew Love
Yes. Now, I heard you. It's just there's this feeling of wanting to talk to people in your life about deep things, and then also understanding when is an appropriate time. And it seems that's just like with anything, there's an ebb and flow. And you have to be going with the current of that relationship. You have to bring it up at the right time and the right way. And you can only do that by trying a bunch.
Marylin Evans
Absolutely. And some of the things we've done especially when the kids were all at home, we would have one night that was dedicated to just family time, at least an hour or two of that evening. And sometimes we play games, sometimes we will always have a treat because treats are amazing. But we have almost like a little lesson where we're talking about media safety. So I think a great time to talk about it is anytime your kids get a new device because it doesn't matter if it's a cell phone or video game console, or an iPad or whatever. Anything that's connected to the Internet is a portal, or pornography can target kids through that. So that's a great time to review your safer screen habits, is what we call them at Parents Aware. And so one thing we'd like to emphasize is that screens are neither good nor bad, but it's about putting your priorities first. So what are your hopes, dreams, aspirations? Talk to your kids about that. What do they want to get out of life right now, in the future, and help them make decisions that will lead to achieving their goals, whether their immediate goals or future goals? And how does technology play in with that? What are harmful things that come to us through technology? Oh, pornography? Well, let's talk about pornography. What is pornography?
Andrew Love
Yes. No, I like that. That's exactly in line with how we view it. Priorities first. What do you want to be doing? And then how does technology align with that? I like it. And because you started Parents Aware, so at what point did this evolve into something that was beyond just your immediate family? Did somebody contact you? Or did you just start having these conversations with your friends? How did that work out?
Marylin Evans
Well, as I said, my mother worked for an organization. So when I realized what was going on and we have this new generation, we have new problems, I thought I would just open up the phone book and look for the organization in my area. And I would sign up and say, here I am. I'm your person, I am here to help. And it wasn't there, and I was frustrated. So I did start Parents Aware as a resource to help families. I really thought at first it would be this forum where we share stories so that we know we're not alone. Because no, I didn't find a lot of success in just going to my friends at first. Everyone seemed close to the conversation.
Andrew Love
They don't want to talk about their kids and their family?
Marylin Evans
No. It's a conversation that closes people up. That is my mission to say, no, this is the conversation our kids are waiting for. We can have this conversation. I can be here and I can be excited to talk about this. It doesn't have to be scary. I mean just talking to each other, parent to parent, that doesn't have to be a scary, shameful thing. We can be real and honest about what's coming at our kids.
Andrew Love
So you attempted a few conversations and were rebuffed?
Marylin Evans
Yes, you know, with my inhibitions as well for sure.
Andrew Love
No, there's definitely a sense of judgment that washes over people when you bring it up. Because they think about the fact that they're not perfect or their family's not perfect, and that's a point of shame for a lot of people because they don't know that. I think a lot of people don't understand the context that every family has some involvement or has some history with imperfection.
Marylin Evans
And it's a misunderstanding of how pornography impacts individuals. We see it as, okay, it's a sexual thing. And so that's what we think our kids are going to look at it, or any individual. But failing to realize this, and I did not know this at first to see how the brain responds to that visual stimulation of pornography. And really it's that reward, and I will fumble on this. But it's a response that's very much ingrained in every human being. That's the purpose of pornography to stimulate the body and the brain, and what’s happening to kids. And we have a really hard time imagining that that could possibly happen to a 10 and 11-year-old. Maybe they see it for the first time then they let it go. But the brain remembers, and the brain, really does respond, the body responds to pornography the way we respond to a drug.
Andrew Love
And so you started this as a website. So you said, maybe you're thinking about starting it as a forum. Did you attempt that and you invited people to this forum but people weren't really showing up?
Marylin Evans
I shouldn't say forum. It was a blog, a blog. Yes, I did invite people to share stories. But what happened over time is that when I switched platforms, it's now primarily a podcast, or Media Savvy Moms is the podcast. And then I created a course to help parents get over their inhibitions. And it's, gets off the fence, confidently talk to your child or teen about pornography, and we discuss. It's a very short course. And it walks you through what defense is? Defense represents all the things that we do to protect our kids. And those are good things, but we use it as a security blanket. We create, implement some parental controls and filters, and do everything but have the conversation. And so it walks you through how to prepare yourself to have that conversation.
Andrew Love
That's really cool. I like that a lot. And then, so how did you get that out into the world? Do you let the world come to you? Or have you been actively trying to get this into schools? Or does your advocacy go into self-promotion or promoting your organization?
Marylin Evans
Just last week, I had some community meetings, so we will see. It's not designed to go, that course itself is not designed to go into schools. It's really designed for parents or caregivers to understand how to open the conversation. That is our primary focus to give parents information, resources, and help to have this conversation. So yes, we promote it through the podcast, through conferences. I speak at conferences. That's how we tell those.
Andrew Love
How's that going? So you're in Canada, and I know there's a lot happening there in terms of the policy. And I know that you're into that, and your fingers on the pulse of that. So how's that fight going over there? I think a lot of eyes are on Canada, the UK. Pornhub is out there, MindGeek is out there, and so what's going on? Give us a scoop.
Marylin Evans
Well, last year was a big, big year. Thanks to an article that came out in the New York Times. Nicholas Kristof wrote about The Children of Pornhub. Now, Pornhub Parent Company, MindGeek, has its headquarters in Montreal, Canada. And when that story broke, we were very fortunate that some parliamentarians said, excuse me, what is going on? And they launched an investigation into MindGeek. And there were witnesses that had been abused on that platform on PornHub that came forward and spoke about their abuse. And many organizations, including ours, submitted briefs. So at that time, there's a couple of bills that were put forward, one by a senator to implement age verification on pornographic websites. And then another bill that was put forward by a member of parliament and, oh dear, I'm a little foggy on the details of that one. But to hold pornographic websites accountable for the sharing of non-consensual or child abuse materials. So both things which are incredibly important. And we are very excited about the work that was going forward. Unfortunately, we had an election called in Canada. You can call an election if you are the government. And so those bills have been tabled or off the table, and they have to be reintroduced. So it fizzled out, the fights not over. Those are legislations that need to be put in place. And there's an organization in the United States that is also lobbying for the same type of things. Exodus Cry, I'm not sure if you're familiar with them. I think they're working with the National Center against Sexual Exploitation to cozy, but really the petition is coming from Exodus Cry for age verification. So yes, these are really important things. And it needs to happen globally because there are no borders, of course, with the internet.
Andrew Love
Yes, it's interesting, because when Facebook, this is probably three years ago that UK got really upset about emails and Facebook, taking emails, and what we do with emails. They were able to change that whole situation to where everybody collects emails, henceforth has to go through this big process of making promises that they're not going to abuse their emails at the behest of their own organization. So they did that really quickly as a reaction to some of the stuff that was going on Facebook. So this could happen quickly if there was an incentive. But there's a lot of beat dragging going on, which is interesting.
Marylin Evans
Yes, the Big Tech, Big Porn, they keep throwing at us that it's an invasion of privacy. But we keep throwing back. We're here to protect children and not to invade privacy. And I honestly believe that there is a way to do both. I think that that is just a matter of political will, and holding Big Tech and Big Porn accountable. And they need to be, they need to be held.
Andrew Love
Yes, everybody needs to be accountable for something.
Marylin Evans
Exactly. With people being abused horrifically on both sides of the screen, either by having their content uploaded to the internet or the simple fact that children have access to this content, it's beyond comprehension that we can allow this to happen. We don't allow it offline, why should we allow it online?
Andrew Love
Yes, especially they're on the brink of web 3.0. We haven't figured out web 2.0, so yes. So in that realm, we will go back into the light, into the happy places. But while we're there, what is your biggest fear or frustration? Or if you feel stuck in any way with this fight, I'd love to hear that. Because you've been at this for longer than there was the internet, by way of your mother.
Marylin Evans
It is easy to get overwhelmed and be overcome by the seeming impossibility of the task. But I will answer your question. I choose very specifically not to stay there. But what is frustrating to me, I think I've really mentioned it already, is that we're not having this conversation enough. So I am a grassroots organization that is using my voice to influence where I can. But what I want is for parents to be talking about this to really acknowledge that this is an issue that is problematic that it's targeting kids. And the reason that parents have to do it is that we can't wait for the government to take that action. We have to come at it from both angles. I'm not absolving the government. I'm not absolving the big corporations, they have a responsibility. But while we're pushing and asking them to do that and waiting for them to do that, we have to start at the ground level. That's parents speaking up, and that's influencing community leaders, influencing medical professionals, you know, mental health and medical professionals, educators, we need a different approach to this at an education level and law enforcement. For so long, we have thought of this as a moral issue that we can't get involved in. It is 100% a health issue. And it's really hurting the lives of our young people as well. And as they grow into adults, we have to do something.
Andrew Love
Yes, absolutely. You started that train of thought with the nucleus, which is with us. Our parents have to talk to your kids. And it really is a matter. I think we get swept up in the grandeur of this whole issue, how big Big Tech is? How big the porn industry is? But they're also at the mercy of the consumer. And the fact is that we are consuming their products, but if we stopped or we changed our consumer habits, then they are forced to follow the trends of the consumer. It's the fact that if we can cut it off within the home, then they have to adjust. We're giving them our power every time we ingest their content, and so there is a lot of empowerment there if we do the work within our home. It seems small, obviously, when they seem so big. But when there's enough of us having this conversation, as you mentioned, then it does start to change the trends of what families expect, and what they allow in their homes and their standards, and all this. I think it is this very underrated action that we can take right now, which is talking to our kids about how important that is because it all starts there and ends there.
Marylin Evans
I was working on a project for another organization, and I had the parents interview their kids whether they thought it was weird that they would talk to them about pornography, weird or awkward. And one 11-year-old boy said, no, it's like the difference between a pop quiz when you've missed a week of class and a regular test you studied for. Obviously, you're going to do better on the test that you studied for.
Andrew Love
But it seems like the conversation is like a pop quiz. And so, okay, let's take you out of there, out of the sewers, out of the gutter, and bring you back up to a good place. In all this, your awareness has been, I don't know, been honed for quite some time because, again, through your mother and through trial and error with your own kids. What brings you to hope about where we're at as a civilization? Because awareness is contagious. More people know about the harmful effects of pornography than ever. So there's some good stuff. Is there something that really wakes you up and gives you that little bit of fire or a little kick in the butt?
Marylin Evans
What gives me hope is that when I did start this, I wasn't getting parents talking. And now, I find that slowly or maybe more quickly, parents are much more respectful of the work that I am doing. And or if I speak to them, and you can tell when I enter a room or the Zoom Room that there's this nervousness, and where's this going to go? And at the end, it's like, oh, thank you, that just made it so much easier to talk. And I also believe that the internet is a few years old, a couple of decades and a half or so old, but all of those kids, my kids included, that were raised on the internet, there's a tipping point, and they know what's out there. They know the conversations that need to be had, and they're willing to do something different too.
Andrew Love
Yes, I think there are enough people who have been spat out on the other side of porn that they can speak from firsthand experience with a little bit more authority than a lot of parents who, you know, we have testimonies from older people like, I saw my first porn in a magazine. And the kids are like, what's a magazine? But now, there are enough people who have been through internet porn and seeing the other side. That's a little bit more relatable, I guess, coming from somebody who's experienced what you've experienced.
Marylin Evans
They're ready to fight, ready to talk to their kids. They're ready to have different conversations.
Andrew Love
And so with Parents Aware, what do you hope to really accomplish? Do you have any moonshot dreams or anything like that that you would like to see happen with Parents Aware? Or any actions you'd like that our audience here to take?
Marylin Evans
Yes, okay. So let's protect kids from pornography. That's my moonshot dream. And the best way to do that is through open, honest conversations about the harms of pornography, and healthy sexuality, and what to expect in a relationship. So for the listeners who are listening, whatever age your child is that I want you to think what would be the best way to approach that conversation? Are they preteens? Are they young children? Well, let's start with body safety. Are they a teenager, say 11 to 13? Well, guess what, they already know about sex from talking to their friends. They don't know a lot about it. If you haven't had that conversation, just ask them, what do you know about sex? Let's talk about it. Be that upfront and bold. And it's not just about the mechanics of it like what does it mean to you? What do you think that you'd be ready for? If they're an older teen, then they know about pornography, for sure. Whether they actively consume it, or it's just something that their friends are talking about. So when was the last time you even had something come across the screen that made you uncomfortable? We have guides to do these things. Go to our website and check out some of our podcasts. We talk about different aspects of parenting and pornography every week. We're here to give you tips and advice. And every episode, there's a link to a free downloadable guide. So we got you.
Andrew Love
Please check out the website. So again, we'll link it in the description, but it's parentsaware.info. And this course, I wasn't aware of it until just now, and that sounds really perfect. I don't think High Noon has anything quite like that at all. And that's a really necessary component to a parent's journey in raising their kids and having this conversation. So we do have book recommendations, but this is an online course. And she's also here as a coach if you need to go to step deeper. So I really recommend this. We know even people in the High Noon realm who are still on the fence, they're still very much on the fence. They know what they should do. They have every reason to jump, but there's something holding them back. So please do what you can. Go to this website and consume this, and become more confident to start the conversation. Because I think that's one takeaway I got from this conversation, is how important these conversations are. They have a global impact. If enough people are having these conversations, there's some critical mass that will take place where we just stopped accepting porn as being okay because there are enough people who are just awake and aware. And so it's fundamental. If you are a parent, if you're not having these conversations already, go to this website. If you are having these conversations but you want to become a Sensei and you want to become like a real master then go to this website and just consume this. Do you have any recommendations, I guess, for kids to start the conversation if they're parents because we do know many kids whose parents are very rigid in this area and they're stonewalling their kids to some degree. Is there any way that you can suggest for them to start this conversation?
Marylin Evans
That's a tougher question. You know, when I do speak to teens, I do encourage them to talk to their parents. But parents, we've got to approach this in arms open wide kind of way. We can not afford to shame our kids when they come to us on this conversation. So tips for kids. You know what, Andrew, I think I'm going to have to get back to you on that one, and I'm going to have to put a podcast out on that.
Andrew Love
Yes, because there are some tricky dynamics there between parents and children. But there are a number of very sincere kids who want to open up this dimension of relationship with their parents. And we usually ask them to do the preliminary work of saying, hey, I'd like to have a conversation. Can we go out and do something? Or just request some time from their parents, and then prepare internally for that.
Marylin Evans
I'm going to say to young people, here's my perspective as a parent, I get frustrated when I ask my child to empty the dishwasher and the dishes don't get emptied. But when my child comes to me about something really serious, I'm just so glad that he's okay. Maybe give your parents the benefit of the doubt. I say that with an understanding that not every relationship is going to have that conversation smoothly. But for the most part, loving, caring parents want the very best for their kids. They may not open up the first time, but be brave.
Andrew Love
Thank you. I really like this conversation. I do feel like it's within our listener base. I think a conversation we haven't had enough, the details, the specifics on how to start opening up this topic of conversation with your kids. And I think we just found a goldmine in Parents Aware. So everybody, again, please just shut up and go to this website right now and start learning and start practicing. Because it does get easier with time. Absolutely. Just like anything. It's awkward at first, like everything, and it gets easier with time, like everything. But you got to practice like with everything.
Marylin Evans
With everything.
Andrew Love
Yes. Do you have any parting words? Any last nuggets of wisdom that you'd like to impart upon us?
Marylin Evans
I just want to say thank you so much for this wonderful conversation. I've really enjoyed our chat today. And I really am encouraged by your work and what you're doing. And I hope that parents will talk. We've been waiting for this conversation.
Andrew Love
Yes, we will definitely keep you in our repertoire of places to send people, especially parents. And yes, thank you for all the work that you've done, and keep up the fight. It seems like there's some activism DNA that runs through you, and so that's awesome. We need more people like you. And everybody listening, she's also a very regular, very approachable person. Please reach out to her. Her contact info is on our website. But just know that if we're doing this work, it does spread. It is contagious. Bad things are contagious. Good things are also contagious. So the more that we all chip in, and this problem will get a lot lighter and it will start to dissipate and disappear. So thank you, everybody, for listening. And thank you so much, Marylin, for joining us. This is really cool. And I'll see you guys next time.
Marylin Evans
Thank you.
Andrew Love
I hope you found that episode enjoyable. And before we go, I wanted to challenge you to take your life on. To take your life to the next level. And if you're struggling in any way with pornography, with masturbation, with issues of sexuality that just are not helping you at all. If you want to reclaim your life, reclaim your eyes and ears, your time, your energy, then take our free 15-Day Challenge. If you go to highnoon.org, you can find our 15-Day Challenge right there on the front page. Take it. It's absolutely free. No strings attached. We've designed it to help you gain some level of momentum in your journey of sexual integrity so that you can take the next step, whatever that may be. It could be to go to our deeper ascend program, which is a 90-day program we have. It could be to reach out to that accountability partner. It could be to just take whatever steps you need to take in your journey to build the life of heavenly sexuality that you deserve. So go to highnoon.org, right now. If you want to break up with porn and start to get engaged with the life of your dreams, and eventually marry it. Doesn't it sound nice? So go to highnoon.org to find all of those resources and more. It's been a slice.